Saturday 19 January 2013

the struggle


Oh, little man. 

Determined to 'do it myself'

I guess it's a lesson in parenting overall, to sit back and watch you learn, struggle, make mistakes, start over again, learn through your errors and finally burst through in triumphant, self-satisfied glory.

I offer a little gentle encouragement but try to just let you go for it on your own - you are working it through though it's soooo uncomfortable for me to watch. My itchy fingers take photos in order to stop myself from helping with just one arm-hole....

You get yourself there in the end and the beaming pride on your face for going it alone is a million times brighter than it would have been had I assisted you through the tough (head in sleeve) patches. 

A lesson for us both I think. A mother always itches to help her beloveds out of those tricky spots in life. Something tells me this won't be the biggest mountain you have to climb.... and something also tells me the toughest mountains for me as a mother will be letting you climb, fall (!) and conquer without me. 

But supporting you, training you and cheering you on? Well, that I can do!

Well done, little man! xx





10 comments:

  1. Awwww..... Great series and that proud little face at the end is priceless! Well done Eli!

    We have the opposite problem here. T generally exhibits that delightful combination of lack-of-confidence plus laziness, so he constantly asks for help and insists that he can't possibly manage on his own. :|
    Trust me, it is far more challenging to endlessly coax and encourage a reluctant, lethargic, whiney dresser than it is to stand by and watch a confident one struggle!

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    1. lol tarnya, we have a certain older daughter a bit more like that. she goes through spurts of independence and determination (like right now) but many more phases of 'i cant do it, it's too hard'! and YES that is challenging n also so frustrating! even as a little tacker, if she put a puzzle piece to the hole and it didnt immediately fit, she would just toss it like 'oh this must be broken' HAHA!!! trying to work on qualities like perseverance and 'working hard' there...

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    2. Thomas' favourite catchphrase is "It's no use. I'll never be able to do it." I have no idea where he got it from because I have NEVER said that in my life! I'm a pretty determined person and reluctant to admit defeat, so I was a bit shocked to find myself with a child who has little power of perseverance. I blame Claus. :) Actually I blame him for all of Thomas' less-desirable character traits. He's not here to stand up for himself, so it's a tactic that works quite well ;)

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    3. lol tarnya i already 'know' u well enough to know how determined you are!!! what a funny phrase for him to get out of nowhere - lol, yes blaming claus is a convenient strategy :) anyway, w a mama like you i know he will no doubt learn from your strengths overtime, that determination will rub off!

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  2. This is sooo good to see. You have captured it very well. Congratulations on not helping Kate. It is a hard thing to do. I am still learning to stand back!! :) Thanks for sharing.

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  3. He is so adorable, Kate!

    Well done on letting him do it himself. That is hard!

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  4. love this post and I often feel the same way. . . a mothers urge to jump in to the rescue but also the desire to let them learn and grow on their own.

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  5. I do so love collages too! This is a great set to capture and keep (and perhaps show to Eli one day too). I wonder if it's a first born/second born thing?? We have the same issues with Mr 7 and Bow. Somedays I wish there was more independence in my first born, and less in my second (and third);-)

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    1. actually never thought of that but yes, very good and likely point about the 1st born thing!! looking at the comments here, there seems to be a pattern. and i guess unintentionally, we would have always had more time/ability to help out our 1st borns and subsequent kids probably more used to going it alone or at least waiting so perhaps thats a factor too? intriguing!

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  6. I love the collage you put together. Middle left is a crack up. It is like he is saying "trust me mum, I have this undercontrol" but the proud little Eli pic at the end is the winner in this set :)
    Like Tarnya I have one who would just prefer for someone else to dress him. He seems rather put out when we keep reminding him to persist with the task!

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