Friday, 24 August 2012

Nothing You Can Do

Something I have been thinking about lately, in this privileged task of raising children, is what do I ultimately want my kids to know?

In many ways, my role is to model and embed in the hearts of my children the love God has for us all. I try (and yes, I do it imperfectly but I do try!) to reflect God's love to them that they may one day choose to see and know the fullness of His love and grace.

His love - gracious, merciful, kind, pure, selfless, firm, unconditional....

Yeah, a pretty tall order but it's a shining example I aim to emulate as best I can - in order to point them to the Source.

So what do I want the kids to know about the love I have for them - which happens to be also true of the love God has for them?

Totally zonked, totally beloved.

The heart of my love for them, the thing I want them to know in their core is this -

Nothing you can do can make me love you more.
Nothing you can do can make me love you less.
I will always love you -
Just because you're mine.

These kids of mine may achieve great things, they may be successful in the 'world's eyes', they may marry and give me hordes of gorgeous grandbabies, they may achieve and strive and rake in big bucks. But none of this is what ultimately matters, and I don't ever want them to feel that I will love them more for those things, or for them to do them for my approval or love. My love is not based on what they do, what they gain, what they achieve. I could never love them more than I do.

My kids may (inevitably?) hurt me one day by hurting themselves through poor choices. They will (inevitably) fail at some things. They may (inevitably?) make decisions for themselves that I would not make for them. They may even choose to not believe in the God who loves them so truly, madly, deeply and for that, yes, I would grieve. But.... I will never love them less. Nothing they can say, do, fail at, believe or choose will make me love them less.

Little Boy Blue! Yes, his sleeping bag is on backwards, otherwise he takes it and his
pyjamas off in the night and we discover a frozen little boy (literally blue!) in the morning!

I love them unconditionally. I pray I can and will always love them unconditionally. I almost fear to say this because I know life's paths have a way of unfolding in unimaginably challenging ways and I know that I will not always love them perfectly (forgive me!). But I do know that I love them and I know even more surely that when I, even as their fiercest protector and champion, ever stumble even slightly in showing my love.... it will be my failing only to reflect accurately the constant love God has for them... yes, because absolutely nothing you can do can make God love you less.

So when I  think about what I want my kids to know, at the heart of it is that I don't ever want them to feel like they have to or even can do anything to earn my love. Nor that they are ever at risk of losing any portion of my love. There may be prides and disappointments but the portion of my love for them will always be at 100%. Because they are mine.

They are a gift to me, they were born of me, and I love them - just because....


  1. You said this so perfectly! What a lovely reflection on motherhood - this post will be so treasured by your kids when they are old enough to read and understand it! This is just how I feel but I could not have said it as eloquently :o) Kat xo

    1. thanks kat! yes I cant wait for them to be able to read it themselves one day (weird to think about the kids reading the blog - though thats the point of it!!).... though I sure hope they 'know' all this before they read it too. we try huh, and Gods grace takes care of it!

  2. THIS had me in tears. Your strength and love is such a gift and I really do feel that Eli and Lily are blessed beyond blessed to have you as their mother, their guide, their friend.

    Your words and your actions are always inspiring. xxx

    1. aw Amber, thank you so much! Not feeling too strong or inspiring today, gotta admit, but I know for sure I'm still blessed xx

  3. Kate this is truly awesome and words that I would love to say and would be merely touch the surface but your words say it soooo much better and more beautifully! Thank you for sharing your inner most thoughts and feelings about life, raising your children and doing it with the love of God in your heart. Will need a baby bump update (photo) soon please ;)

    1. thanks so much and I know many mamas can relate and feel just the same - like you, lovely mama! im afraid no bump pics yet as not only do i look wretched, pale and green, but at 18wks im still not showing - cos im still not gaining weight and i dont show till late anyway cos im so tall! but when im better and there is a decent bump will see if i can muster up a pic :)

  4. oh my goodness Kate your words speak volumes, and those pictures of your babes sleeping are absolutely gorgeous. I love the Lily is still wearing her beads!

  5. Such a beautiful post, Kate. So many truths in here. We have always said that all we can do is love them, and it does overcome a lot. (Especially when in the midst of those awkward, transitioning teen years.)

  6. Beautiful post Kate. Words fail but my heart is full.



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