Thursday, 19 January 2012

a little sibling sweetness

I wasn't too surprised to love my children, although of course I was amazed at the very depths of it. But what I have been surprised by is how much I love seeing the relationship between my children grow and develop. I just love seeing them love each other and have been shocked at the joy I have in seeing them together! These two little people made separately by you and now making their own connection!

I am so thankful for their close and affectionate relationship - they simply adore each other and their bond is a beautiful thing to witness! Lily simply dotes on her little brother without an ounce of sibling rivalry and I think that has helped Eli even at 18 months to respond in kind - he happily hands over his apple or toy to share. I think their bond is demonstrated by the time Eli was just a little baby, fussing in his car seat on a drive somewhere. Lily piped up consolingly, 'It's ok, little buddy boy, I believe you!'... !!! They are a team, no doubt, with a connection even I can't understand!



Lily bestowing good night kisses to Eli through the cot bars
 Having grown up in a fairly combative sibling relationship with two sisters (where blood was often drawn!), I have a strong desire to, as much as I can, help my children develop a friendship, to cherish each other, to know how to show appreciation, kindness and compassion to one another. More than that, I kind of see the sibling relationship as a good blueprint and rehearsal space for many of their future relationships... after all, living together will almost inevitably bring conflict and various issues over time. As much as I love their sweetness together, I also want them to know how to resolve conflict together, how to problem-solve, how to ask for forgiveness when they wrong the other, how the wronged one can forgive and show mercy. I feel immensely privileged that I am in a position to give them these tools and life skills even now in these early days as I help them negotiate taking turns pushing the dolls pram! I love being present with them and taking every opportunity to highlight when they show a kindness to their sibling, when they help, when they share, when they love.



I know I will inevitably make mistakes in this task, and I know they will too. I know it is a relationship only they can choose to sustain long term. I am thankful for God's grace in this endeavour and thankful also that in spite of its bumpy start, my own relationship with my siblings now as adults is wonderfully close!

Nothing melts my heart like seeing Eli toddling down the hall to knock on Lily's bedroom door after his sleep, calling out 'KnoKno... YiYi!!!' (translation: knock knock, Lily!). Or when Eli has a fall and Lily rushes to cuddle him, consoling him with her sweet words 'It's ok, little Eli, you're ok, I can help you'. What a pair...they truly make me marvel!

12 comments:

  1. Hello from the facebook group, nice to "meet" you through reading about your sweet children. My girls are 2.5 and 4.5 and I'm going through similar emotions, I just feel that my heart is so happy (and tell the girls that!) when they play so nicely together. I grew up with 2 younger brothers and my memories are mostly that they pretty much played together and I kept more to myself. But my girls have just started developing a gorgeous relationship in the last few months, particularly as Isabella (my youngest) is now talking. We have my parents in law staying with us so the girls are sharing a room - and they'll be up for ages talking! They can also fight a lot but I think that's part of learning. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. oh so lovely, at those ages they will really be having fun! yes it makes the heart sing to see them together huh... yes i agree the conflict is inevitable and part of learning (as we help them) to work through it! love your blog too x

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  2. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! Couldn't have said it better myself! You have described my feelings about my own children exactly. It really is the sweetest thing seeing their relationship develop and I know that I too feel very proud to see them love one another.

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    1. thanks Andrea.. looks like we relate on a lot of things!! :)

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  3. What beautiful photos! They are so gorgeous. Reading these kind of posts really make me want to add to my little family...one day.

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  4. Am so proud of you. Beautifully written and beautiful kids.

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    1. thanks so much June, very sweet of you x

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  5. They are so beautiful - that realtionship is gorgeous

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  6. Aw, Kate! I learn so much about parenting from you, truly. I love the values you work to instill in your children and at such a young age, they are already succeeding in setting an example for others. GO KATE AND MARK!

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    1. wow thanks hon, that is really sweet! very touched... yeah its a big job huh, i just want to do my best at it - like all of us mums! xx

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  7. Dear Kate, look at you! So grown up and showing the way to the others! I am really inspired by your words and the links you have been posting on FB. My baby Julia is about 30 days to come and I am sure i will find good help here to bring up my daughter. I also feel that i am more God minded and God focuses since I knew I as pregnant. Yesterday sharing my ideas with Jaime about Julia he suggested me to have a blog - I am writing to Julia in a notebook. Impressions, fears, desires and dreams.

    I think I still dont have enough courage for that. My i admire those who does and share!

    God bless your beautiful family. Hope we can meet up one day, with our babies! You will always be my best reference for Australian people and culture!

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    1. querida!! thanks for reading, tenho TANTOS saudades de vc! i know that becoming a parent does make you think more about God and the meaning of life, that is true! i know your faith will guide you as you parent your baby girl and I want so many blessings for Julia and for you and Jaime too. will email you soon. Please write all your thoughts down and yes a blog would be great too!! Deus te abencoe.... fica fiel, ok? xx kate

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