Monday, 30 January 2012

Flowers for my Bride, he said...

Well, just look what my beloved brought me 'out of the blue' last week!

I have to admit I was cooking dinner and wondering which shot to use to document today's 'delight' then noticed right in front of me these stunning flowers! They have been giving me joy ever since Mark brought them home to me 'just because' - what a man, huh! I love fresh flowers (especially lilies of course!) in the house and even more, I love the guy who gave them to me!

I was reminded recently of a quote from a parenting course that Mark and I did (and loved) pre-kids called Growing Kid's God's Way, which is -

Great marriages make great parents.

I love this quote because it reminds me that not only is our marriage important, but by prioritising our relationship. it also helps us be better parents, providing a safe, stable and loving home for our children to grow up in. A similar quote to it that I think of often is -

Children need not be the centre of the family, but rather very welcomed new members into it.

I realise that might sound a bit funny at first glance. But in our family, we try to live out the concept that our marriage comes first, the children come second (come to think of it, that is actually the order in which things happened so I guess it makes sense!) - and that actually for them this is the most loving thing we could do. I think sometimes children can feel overwhelmed at the pressure of being the centre of attention, and family life, but feel more relaxed, comforted and secure seeing their parent's happy, loving, committed relationship almost acting as a banner above them, enveloping them as they learn and grow. Like all of us, they want to be part of something bigger than themselves. Something they can depend on. Well, that's the ideal anyway! In reality, it is often challenging to prioritise the marriage when those adorable and noisy little people are clutching at your legs and clamouring for attention and another cup of milk!

But if we don't protect, give time to, and prioritise our relationship, how can we sustain it? Marriages can be wonderful but can also be all kinds of tough! They need work and they need attention. I realise of course that marriage is not for everyone and also that unfortunately not everyone gets the choice to stay in the marriages they committed to, but  for us we are thankful to be together and want an active loving relationship that endures past the time that the kids leave home. Having young kids, I now see how easy it would be to just throw each other a wave as we are wrestling kids into pyjamas that says 'See ya in a decade!' while we live through this incredible but oh-so-intensive phase... but if we do that, would anything be left of us on the other side? Maybe, but maybe not! 

We also want our kids to grow up witnessing a working, loving, messy, funny, challenging but always loving and committed relationship. For their own security and stability as they grow up in this big sometimes-scary world, and as a template for their own (God-willing) relationships some day.

But not just for them... for us. Because as cute as Mark is, I did not choose to marry him merely in order to bestow golden locks upon our potential children!! We married because we loved each other and we saw a path in life we wanted to travel together - no matter what.  Partners in life, for life.

So that is why, in theory and (hopefully, mostly, increasingly) in practise, we try to prioritise our marriage. By investing in our marriage we are also protecting our beloved children's family. And that is also why, though there is a dozen adorable photos of my kids I could share today, I wanted to instead share a photo of the gorgeous flowers my husband gave me.... a token of his love, for which I am always so grateful!

I mean, he could have bought yet another toy for the kids but instead he got flowers for me... clearly the man has his priorities in order!!! ;)

Thanks, honey xx


  1. You are a wise woman Kate! And those flowers are beautiful, I bet they smell lovely too..

  2. awesome Kate! i agree, wise words indeed! and well done hubby!

  3. I agree with you, my mum told me the first quote when Brian and I got married and although we haven't always followed it (sometimes those kiddies do come first) we do find that when we make each other the priority life does run more smoothly.

    BTW, sounds like you have got yourself a bit of a catch there, love the flowers :)

    1. wise mama! :) Yeah its not something we always follow in practise either, but i figure at least knowing and aiming for it helps too, right!! Yes he is a catch indeed, and a real sweetie!

  4. what a precious man you have...and how wonderful that you take the time to recognise it! Beautiful xx


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