Thursday, 13 September 2012

the dark days are over...

Yes, yes, Florence and the Machine, I know it's actually 'The Dog Days are Over', but let's be honest, most of the world thinks the lyric is actually 'the dark days', which makes a whole lot more sense, so let's just change it and move on shall we?!

Now, where was I?

Oh yes... I'm calling it. I am..... 'better'. I am hereby declaring myself through the worst of this pregnancy sickness. Yes, I still only have the stamina of a 19th century convalescent who must take to a chair every ten minutes to catch her breath, and yes I am still sometimes nauseus (when I overdo it) and vomiting every now and then, but... I am pretty much - much better. Yippee!

I am so ready. For over four months of this pregnancy sickness, I have been hibernating through the winter and now glorious spring is here and I am ready, bursting, itching to get out there and run (or at least stroll) around in the sunshine with my beautiful family. I could not be more ready!!!

My mission for this week: Take the kid's to Dance Class.
Last time I tried did not go so well! But... today I did it! I was totally wrecked
afterwards but I'm so glad I did it - another milestone in getting back
into life with my kids!

Trying out a more serious look...

Everyone must be so sick of hearing about how sick I have been. I know **I** am sick of being sick, that is for sure. It has been a tough phase - not just physically but emotionally. Seeing the toll on my wonderful husband, my children. Feeling so wretched and so useless. Battling the depression that so often accompanies hyperemesis. There have been dark days and many tears. I was so grateful for the bizarre and beautiful coincidence of two amazing girls who live in my street who also suffered from hyperemesis (one to the point of needing a feeding tube, wow, glad I avoided that experience!)... they pinpointed the depression risk which helped me watch out for it so it did not overcome. Of course, hand in hand with that comes guilt that I should ever be down when I am so very, very blessed and grateful to be pregnant. I truly am, and I never forgot that - and though this phase took our family to the brink, it was all worth it for this little baby who is currently kicking and wriggling inside me. I am also so grateful for those who encouraged, blessed, and checked in on me, I think without those connections, I would have struggled even more. God was truly my ever present comforter and solace through the hardest moments.

This experience makes me more aware of those suffering from serious and chronic illness - to suffer so long and without the joyful cause (and end date) that I was privileged to have, must be so tough. My heart goes out to those who are enduring such hardships - if I struggled with such a relatively short term thing, how hard it must be for those for who it goes on and on? I cannot imagine, and I pray I can be more aware and more helpful and supportive to those suffering in the future.

Always laughing together with their secret sibling business!

I don't even know what to say about this pic, it's too funny!
Lily has on her best 'comforting mama' face and Eli looks ready to be done!

Anyway, I am here. Ready to get back into my life!! I have so many things I am excited to do, people I am dying to see, activities I want to do with my children, places I can't wait to go. Yes, I will have to pace myself, but I feel like I am just emerging from a fog and in a way feel refreshed to be able to participate in regular life again - yes, maybe even cooking dinner!! (I'm sure that enthusiasm will quickly wane, haha).

I won't ramble on but I must finish off with one more final thank you to tail-end the one I started here. So many more people have supported our family through compassionate, kind and loving gestures. They meant the world to me, to my family and we will not forget it! A heart-felt thank you to all of you (you know who you are!) who helped us survive this testing time. I am so thankful for my family, my friends, my church, my community for caring for me and for my family. You guys rock! And of course a big shout out to my darling husband who has carried the bulk of the load, single parenting for months and working so hard to keep this household functioning - love you, honey!

And now, with 18 weeks or so left of this pregnancy, I look forward to preparing for this little one's arrival, and getting out in the sunshine and soaking up many sweet moments with my family and friends... bring it on!


  1. Hi Kate, this is a beautiful post and although I don't know you I'm so happy you're feeling better, and your post is contagious in its joy at emerging from your cocoon of illness. Thanks for your beautiful photos.. Robyn xx

  2. Oh Kate, how awful to be that sick. It definitely takes an emotional toll, and I'm so glad to hear that you're nearing the end of it. Here's to an easy and beautiful rest of your pregnancy!

    Love Lily and Eli in that last pic, what good friends they must be.

  3. What wonderful news! I can't imagine how difficult things have been. So very happy for you and your family that things are looking on the bright side. All of these brother/sister photos are so, so sweet. Something to truly be cherished since in just 18 weeks 2 will become 3 :-)

  4. That second photo is sooo sweet. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better, there must be nothing worse than trying to get excited about a new arrival while dealing with such sickness. Spring is such a great time for getting out & making plans, I hope you have great weather for it!

  5. Oh, I am so glad that you are feeling better. Have you considered the name Gideon? It's kind of long I guess compared but oh, I met the loveliest Gideon the other day.

    I think I recall reading that Florence said that the 'dog days' were in reference to her days walking dogs to make a living. Ha.

    1. thanks Georgia! LOL at the meaning behind the song - something so mundane for such a dramatic/awesome song! heehee!
      ooh Gideon is a cute name too - thanks for being on the watch out, keep em coming as we are still struggling!! will run that one past hubby x

  6. Oh happy, happy days! I knew this post was coming as I have seen you bit by bit getting better over the past few weeks. So glad that you have been able to make the leap from the dark days to more pleasant days (although not totally there yet I can see).
    You have been nothing short of amazing throughout the past 20 weeks; I know you have had some dreadful days emotionally but overall you have shown SO much strength, faith and persistence. Seriously I don't think I could have done what you have done three times.I really do think once again it has shown your strength in character. Amazing stuff.
    You are here now and I hope the remaining weeks are full of happiness and health for you dear friend.
    Love the last picture - Lily's face - what a mother in the making!

    P.s. I like Georgia's name suggestion :)

    1. thank you so much Amber - i know I could not have done it without all your emotional and practical help!!! you have been such a rock. looking fwd to enjoying this next 20, and some playdates w you guys!!! xx

  7. Good to read this and know you are emerging from the cocoon of illness. Yes you have been very strong through it all and not wanting others to suffer with you. Very admirable Kate. Glad you are now able to "look back" and reflect.
    Looking forward to hearing about fun activities and days ahead. My love to Mark for all the amazing things he has done through this time. xx

  8. Very happy to read this. I enjoy your posts so much.

  9. Kate, I just read this. I read in your DSLR post but so glad to read about the day you felt it had lifted. I didn't get too sick during pregnancy, but just those first few nauseous months were enough to give me a little idea of what it might have been like...x10. Praying the worst is over for you! And for an incredibly smooth and beautiful birth to compensate ;)


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