Finding Balance in Healthy Eating // Dessert Night

Something tells me this teddy-bear jar is going to feature heavily in my kid's childhood memories, haha!

Friday night around here is 'dessert night'.

It kinda speaks for itself, I guess, and needless to say, is a pretty popular night on my kids' weekly calendar!

A couple of years ago we instituted the tradition of 'Friday Night Dessert Night'.  We try to eat pretty healthfully around here - I try to avoid refined sugar and processed food in my family's daily diet. However, as the kids (currently 5, 7 and 9) were getting older and more aware of all the food out there that their peers enjoy, bringing home lolly bags from parties and all of that, they started clamouring for  treats and desserts! What to do, what to do!? While I make a lot of healthy food treats (just ask my kids' school friends, apparently I am very well known for my healthy brownies and muffins, lollllll) the kids soon became familiar with the more sugary and processed alternatives. Whose idea was it to let them out of the house?! ;)

While we certainly talk a lot about good food and healthy eating habits and all of that (see this post on our general family food approach and tips for creating healthy eaters) I felt like total restrictions and putting a blanket ban on all junk food wasn't ultimately going to help with building a lifelong healthy relationship with food. Extreme restrictions might be more likely to lead to the kids going overboard on junk food either as teens or just whenever given opportunity out of my sight! Plus, I just didn't want to be so uptight ALL the time, it's not fun being the food police!! Even though I do what I gotta do for my kid's health, sometimes it's just fun to have a treat without over thinking it and while I want them to be conscious eaters, I also don't want them to get paranoid, know what I mean? Ha! It's a fine balance, huh? It's been really wonderful to see them learning to self-regulate and often stop eating a slice of sugary cake half way through, announcing 'My tummy says that's enough'. I wish my own tummy had always been so self-aware!!!

So, I try to follow a general 80/20 rule for our family. 80% whole and nourishing foods, 20% just eat whatever you want, no stress or guilt. Because life and food are also just for enjoying and celebrating and being in community too, you know? I don't want to be too uptight. Sometimes I feel we swing too far one way or the other but that's life, huh?! When we do, I just try to steer the family back on course without beating myself (or them, lol) up.

Anyway, back to Dessert Night!!

It works well for us because the kids know not to ask for junk food at any other time, but they also know they have a treat outlet once a week! It's a healthy (ha!) boundary for our family. So I am not a total killjoy who always says 'no' haha (last week when I served up ice-cream I did declare - 'see, I can be fun!!'). But also so that the treats don't become too pervasive in daily life. Yes, we still do party food, treats with friends at social events, ice creams etc when we are out occasionally too. But 'dessert night' helps us keep in a healthy routine at home and with our daily eating.

The kids know they aren't totally 'missing out' but they also appreciate and generally want to eat healthfully too. I hope it's the kind of pragmatic balanced approach and habit they might choose to keep up throughout their lives. I love that they are getting to know their own bodies and often times won't even eat all of their dessert before recognising they are full!

As for what we have? Sometimes I make something more elaborate, a proper dessert or even ice cream with sprinkles (or a healthy version of a 'treat' too which they usually love just as much!), but more often than not, the kids just want to select two items from the fabled 'lolly jar' where all the random sweets and chocolates from party bags etc get dumped. I sometimes try to do it Friday afternoon  rather than after dinner, gives the sugar more time to burn off ;)

So, that's 'our family way'. Certainly not the only or 'right' way to handle healthy eating in the home, but just sharing it as a strategy that is working well for us! It gives us balance. Not total restriction but not a free-for-all either!!! It sure does save a lot of negotiations too, the kids know not to debate it, if they want a treat they know when they can have it!

These family 'policies' work differently for every family or even in different seasons but this seems to be the 'sweet spot' (pun intended!) for us in finding a balanced approach to our family's healthy eating.

Now, I better go check the 'lolly jar' stocks!!! ;)

A Super Charged Hot Lemon Drink to Cure the Winter Blues!

When the winter chills start setting in and the sniffles not long after, the first thing I do is start simmering up a saucepan of this nourishing goodness!

This super charged hot lemon drink is an immune-boosting dynamo, helping prevent or at least recover faster from colds, coughs and congestion... plus, it's full of goodness, and I think it tastes pretty delicious too! Consider it an immune boost that will help your body fight off the sniffles as best and quick as it can.

It's a bit of a 'throw it all in' type recipe (all of mine are, haha!) but as I am always being asked by friends for the recipe, I thought I should take the time to blog up a general guide to the ingredients, at least!! Feel free to add more or less depending on your taste buds (oh, and don't be freaked out by the garlic, you really can't taste it!)...

Super Charged Hot Lemon Drink Recipe

Ingredients - 

• Lemons - 3 or 4
• Tumeric - a couple cm's of fresh if possible, or 2 tsp ground
• Cayenne Pepper - about a third of a tsp (depending how much kick you want!)
• Ginger - 2cms of fresh ginger, or 3 tsp of the jarred stuff
• Garlic - 5 or 6 cloves
• A quarter cup or so of Apple Cider Vinegar
• Water - Approx 600-700ml or just enough for the lemons to be able to float and simmer.
• Honey (add later when drinking)

Instructions - 

• Quarter the lemons and throw them in a small saucepan, yep, rind and all! So much goodness in the zest, you don't want to miss a bit! It all blends up in the end, truly.
• Add in the garlic bulbs, the knobs or teaspoons of ginger and tumeric, and the ACV.
• Add water
• Simmer on a low heat for about 15-20 minutes or until the lemon skins are very soft
• Blend the whole lot up very well with a stick mixer (or pour into a blender, or do the whole thing in a Thermomix if you have one!) and it's done!!

This recipe makes a concentrate, to which you can then add extra hot water and honey to taste whenever you want to make up a cosy mugful. Keep it in a jar in the fridge, and just pour about an inch into your mug, topping up with hot water and however much honey to taste - maybe two or three teaspoons as obviously the mix is pretty tart! And honey is good for sore throats too :)

Tip - I like to make 'frozen lemon discs' by pouring an inch of the concentrate into the bases of muffin tins, freeze then later pop out the frozen disks and put them into a bag in the freezer. Then they are portion sized and ready to quickly pull out and use whenever the sniffles dare strike! 

So why is this little concoction so good for you? The lemons are packed with vitamin C, and the cayenne pepper is fantastic for soothing sore throats and breaking up congestion and coughs. Tumeric is an amazing anti-inflammatory, anti bacterial, and anti-viral. And we all know ginger and garlic are full of vitamins and goodness! The honey also soothes sore throats and if you can get it unprocessed, also full of nutrients for ailing bodies. Oh, you could also add a little coconut oil to your hot drink too for another immune boost... why not, haha! 

A disclaimer that (as you probably can guess from the ingredients) this is a very strong and tart mixture. Feel free to use less of the concentrate, with more water and honey, till it is palatable for you! I find the more I drink it, the stronger I can handle it, haha! ;)

The kids love this drink and ask for it as soon as the mildest sniffle begins... preferably served in a travel mug with plenty of honey, while they are snuggled up on the couch under a blanket. They totally like to milk the slightest sickness, haha! ;) My tip for serving this to kids is to start it off very weak and sweet till they can handle the sourness as well, then over time you can add in more and more of the concentrate too!

Happy soothing sipping, my friends! 

when cancer walks into your world...

It happens like this....


Severe stomach pains a week before Christmas.
A scan. A fist sized mass found on the pancreas. (A 'mass' is a friendlier word for 'tumour').
Long days in hospital, waiting and waiting to get a biopsy done. Phone calls, frantic texts, stalking doctors through the halls for answers. Shock and tears and fears and prayers. 
Stunned. Can this be happening? It was.
Home. Christmas. Camp. Family time together, savouring the moment, savouring togetherness, savouring family...collectively deciding to not think about the test results coming and the 'news' we have already been told to expect..
We trek back to the hospital for the 'diagnosis'. We walk through the Oncology Department, past rows of dear souls on chemo drips. Reality. 
'The News': Pancreatic Cancer, wrapped around a vein. Stage Four. Metastasized. Terminal. A reality too great to comprehend, and yet we dumbly nod and take notes and say 'Yes'...
So, here we are and so, this new paradigm sinks in. In tiny horrifying doses, it sinks in, day by day.


When a cancer diagnosis walks into your life, it cleaves itself neatly through your world. The moment you hear 'the news' is defining, never forgotten. It cuts deep - like a violent gash, lives forever marked by the before and after. Without notice, you have joined a community, a frighteningly large one of those affected by cancer.

My dearest step dad (what an inadequate term for the father he has been to me since I was 12!), David, has been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. One of the most aggressive cancers, so they say. A prognosis of mere months.

How do you even absorb news like that?

Our dear David. Just turned 60, fit and healthy. No 'risk factors' at all. No family history. He is such a good, dear man.  Dignified, kind, gentle, funny, godly, full of faith and wisdom. Truly beloved by all who know him. Wise, caring and always, always, always there when you need him. And I've needed him. I still need him.


.......

Honestly, I have wavered over if to share here, what to share here in this space. I didn't want to write anything, I simple couldn't for so long. I don't know why. How can I simply ignore a part of my real life so significant and all encompassing right now... in this here, my little online diary?? And yet... I have been reluctant. I particularly feel uncomfortable about writing much about David here, his journey, his treatment and so on... it feels too personal and sacred. I love him too dearly. Perhaps that seems odd when I write about my beloved kiddos and all matter of things here all the time, but... there you have it, it is what it is. I'm not sure how to explain it. I want to write something, but what could possibly convey what we are going through? Certainly not one measly blog post. But... here it is, my attempt to somehow mark this significant time in our family records...

.......


So, here we are, over two months later....

The grief has already begun. There have been so many tears (so.many.tears), so much anxiety, so much pure sadness- oh, and of course, bouts of anger (usually misplaced and irrational, but there you have it). Sometimes I feel so utterly overwhelmed, both emotionally and physically, that I hardly know how to bear it. But there has also been gratitude, joy, laughter, love and serenity - a peace that passes understanding. What a tumult of emotions there are. 'How are you?' people ask... honestly, it changes by the minute!

Life has changed. A veil has been flung over us, it colours everything, all the time. Our world does not look like it did before. I have the blessing, the privilege, the honour of living just down the road from my parents, of being deeply involved in supporting them during this time. Well, as best I can with three little ones to manage too. Mmmm, yes, I feel torn so often, I wish I could do more, just be there more. It is so hard to witness them suffering, but I am grateful to serve them as best I can.

We cling to our faith. Our God is our rock during the good times - and the bad. 'God moves in mysterious ways' may be a trite saying but the heart of it is our daily truth. His ways are not our ways. Our eyes are so earthly, His are so eternal. Yes, I believe God has the power to heal, to do incredible miraculous things, and for that I earnestly pray. But I also know that He is telling a story here, one I don't presume to know every nuance and outcome of. It is a story of faith, of real every day people. Of a quiet man with a lifetime legacy of a fierce faith, playing out now more intensely than we ever anticipated. And so we hope and trust and walk forward, step by step. So many are finding inspiration and encouragement in David's peaceful response to the wretched news that so many fear. He is not afraid.

But is it fair? Many tell me this is so unfair. I don't know... I don't tend to think like that, I guess. What is fair? The rain falls on the just and unjust, and so, it seems, does cancer. No matter who we are, our metal is tested through challenges and I know that no matter the outcome of this tale of one beautiful life, his metal will be found to be solid gold faithfulness. In this I have peace and find purpose. I find shades of good in the midst of the bad, comfort in the midst of distress, hope in the shadows of despair. We have hope, and for that we are grateful. We have a hope beyond cure.

But still, there is no denying these are dark days. Days I still cannot truly comprehend, the shock only wearing off in small increments. Can this really be happening? It still feels like a wretched dream at times. My mind is constantly calibrating. In the end, I still desperately want David here with us. The idea of my children not knowing him, this is what breaks me the most. I want my kids growing up around their Papa, to learn from his wisdom just as I did and still very much do! That is what I want, that is how I pray, but I know this life, which is so fleeting and precious, plays out in a grander, more purposeful scale than that..

So. We take it day by day, we do all we can, we soak up every precious moment. Moments are all the more precious now. After all, none of us know what the future holds, do we?

In this dark cancer journey, there is light. I see the light in the blessings of family coming together, of church and community rallying around, and of seeing a good, godly man face life's biggest challenge with dignity and grace. It's been said before and yet I will say it again - every day is a gift, and so are those who surround us. Hold close to those you love.

xx

"Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?"

Mary Oliver

our family food policy // growing happy, healthy eaters... for life!

I don't know about you but to be honest, I didn't care or think too much about healthy eating until my sweet kiddos came along. Something about being solely responsible for the nourishment of little humans does that to a person, huh?! I have to say they have transformed my whole outlook!

So, I have been wanting to write about kids and food for quite a while. After all, what our kids eat takes up quite a lot of our time and energy.... I feel like I am hardly out of the kitchen these days, constantly sending food down the conveyor belt to my ravenous horde!

My idea for this post is to put together the principles, ideas, tips and policies that form our 'family food guide' - basically, the how's and why's behind our work to create healthy happy eaters in our family. So, it's probably going to be a preeeeetty long post ;) With three kids aged 6, 4 and almost 2, we have done quite a bit of feeding already... with many more years to come. I am thankful to say that thus far our goals are pretty much on track, with three healthy, happy, adventurous eaters. So, I'd love to share what's working for us, and how we got here - and what we are still working towards as it is always a work in progress. Love you to share your tips too :)

Now this is not some kind of bragging post about how our kids are the best eaters in the world and can we please have a medal!! ;) Ha! Not at all. They are just real kids and we are real parents. It's just a place to collate the information and guiding principles I have gathered along the way from food experts and of course - other mums who have been there before! I'm such a bower bird, picking up info from everywhere, I just can't help it! My friends do call me the Research Queen, haha. This topic is important to me so I wanted to compile it all into one place. I eagerly I soak up tips and tricks from others, so would love to 'share the love' here about what I've learned along the way. Needless to say (but I will say it anyway), this is just about what has worked for us, and why we do what we do. Pick and choose what you like and leave the rest. So here we go!

Smashing down some spinach from our veggie patch. 

When I thought about the relationship I wanted my kids to have with food, I always knew my aim was to create happy, healthy, adventurous eaters. For myself, I grew up an extremely picky eater. Food was also a battle ground and I knew I didn't want that for my kids. I wanted to enjoy eating with my kids, I wanted them to have a healthy relationship with food through their lives. At the same time, it was important for me to raise kids who weren't fussy, who would try new foods and also be polite around eating non-preferred foods, both in the home and most especially when they were guests. Being respectful and appreciative are really important values in our family, as is eating a good, nourishing, varied diet... but without being too obsessive about it either. Eek! How to get to this place?


Well, here are a few of our 'family food policies' that guide us to our 'happy medium'.

(Please note - they are always a work in progress and there are always exceptions! Apply your own logic and circumstances, of course)



EAT WHAT THE FAMILY EATS
From the very beginning, our kids always eat what the family eats. All three of our kids started solids at six months through the Baby Led Weaning approach and I can't rave enough about how well this worked for us, making food introduction stress-free, easy, fun and of course gloriously messy. They all enjoyed food from Day 1, more or less (some took more time to start really eating than others, which is fine) and the approach made it a natural introduction to REAL food in a manner that allowed them to take on what they were ready to consume. We started as we meant to go on. We also gave them healthy food options, and trusted them to eat what they needed and low and behold... they did :) (More on this to come).


NO 'KID' FOOD 
We have never (at least so rarely that I can't remember it!) bought or prepared 'special kids food'. Mostly because anything branded for kids just seems like an expensive marketing ploy, generally more processed and just a rip off to my frugal mind ;) The kids eat what the family eats, that's all they know and they are happy to do so. I don't want to have to wean them off kiddie food onto adult food - so they just happily eat the real stuff now!


A GUIDING MANTRA:

I CONTROL WHEN, WHERE AND WHAT THEY EAT, THEY CONTROL HOW MUCH

This little saying comes from Ellen Satler's 'Division of Responsibility in Eating.  This has been the primary principle in our food approach. *I* choose a healthy and varied diet, *I* choose appropriate meal times and places, and *they* choose how much they eat. Toddlers in particular go through all sorts of growth spurts, one day eating little more than two sultanas and the next day wolfing down three bowls of curry. It all evens out! If they choose not to eat much one meal, they tend to be much more amenable to the next meal time, I find ;) This little mantra takes away sooooo much stress about food, because at the end of the day, you can't force them to eat. As my clever friend Wendy put it, 'I spend a lot of time thinking about what they will eat, and very little time thinking about how much'. 

Our general policy for meal times... (and this is a core issue in daily life, isn't it) is that the kids are not required to eat everything they are served. I serve small/appropriate portions and then trust them to eat as much as they need. However, I'm not running a diner. They must eat enough to tide them over till the next meal time. And the catch is that if they can't finish what they are have, that is fine, but they cannot have anything else either. So there is no leaving all the beans and then asking for fruit or more meat. I do gently encourage them to eat what they are served, but I don't push it. They can eat what they are served or not. But nothing extra if they don't want to finish what's in front of them. That is just the way it goes around here! We do generally require that they have at least one bite of everything served. But no stress, fuss, cajoling or pleading. This is also because I want our family meal times to be a pleasant time of togetherness and conversation. Yes, because we have small kids meal times can often be chaotic anyway, haha, but I did not want them to be a meeting place for endless negotiations and battles. Though the kids sometimes try to draw me into these ;) I just try to let them clearly know the boundary and the choice is theirs. 

This was a day when Miles suddenly decided he didn't want to eat his avocado rice cake. He was hollering for crackers, banana, and anything else he could spy in the pantry. I just calmly informed him several times that avocado rice cakes was what was for lunch (he had eaten several other things already too) and went about my business in the kitchen. After ten minutes, he suddenly picked up the rice cake, shot me this HUGE grin and happily munched down the entire rice cake!!! Cheeky boy - putting me to the test?!? :)

.

LEARNING TO LISTEN TO THEIR BODIES

We talk a lot about 'listening to our tummies'. I encourage them to listen to their bodies, to be aware of that 'full' feeling or how they feel after eating certain foods. I don't want them feeling compelled to eat everything in front of them (finish their plate), even to the point of feeling sick. I hate waste, but have come to realise even for myself that cramming down food you don't need is just as wasteful as throwing it out (of course we don't throw it out anyway, it's saved for later or fed to the chooks!). Finishing your plate no matter how you feel is not really a healthy eating approach. So, they will often pipe up that their tummy says they have had enough. And yes, this even happens when eating a 'treat' like very rare lollies or ice cream. As you can guess, I am just thrilled when that happens, to see that even when eating a 'treat' food, they will listen to their tummies and stop when they have had sufficient. Three cheers for self-control - this is the kind of understanding I hope they will carry with them through adulthood. No prizes for gluttony in this life! Yes, sometimes their tummies do have some rather questionable messages, haha ;) (eg 'my tummy says it needs ice cream for dinner'!!) but I love that they are learning to tune into how their body reacts to food (including food that just doesn't feel good). Mindless compulsive eating is not something I'm aiming for.

MINIMAL SUGAR

We don't serve dessert on any regular basis. Partly because I don't want kids sugar loading before bed (or, actually, any time), partly because I don't want them to build a lifelong habit of needing 'sweet' to follow 'savoury', and partly because I want them to eat their meal for it's own sake. I don't like to bribe them to eat dinner (forcing food down) just to get something seen as 'better', especially as I think it tends to elevate sweet food too much. In the last few months we have instituted 'Friday Night Treat Night' which wards off requests for treats at other times - they now know they can look forward to it one night a week :) A happy medium that works for us right now. It is really important to me to keep sugar at a minimum in their diet, knowing its effect on the body and the cravings it sets up for life. I am not one to cut out entire food groups, so I don't plan to ever fully 'quit sugar' or anything (life's too short not to eat cake, haha) but keeping it minimal seems right for now.

CHILL :) 

My approach towards food, from the first morsel they ate in BLW has been to take a relaxed, no pressure, no stress, no emotion or 'hovering monitoring every bite' type approach. There is no power in food! Kids read and absorb your anxiety so I keep well away from that. I guess I never felt much anxiety anyway in terms of how much they were eating or if they would eat. I just give them foods I'm happy for them to eat and let them take care of the rest.

DON'T PROJECT YOUR FOOD FEELINGS! 

How often does this phrase come out of your mouth 'Oh, you won't like that!' ? It's all too easy to say! But hold up. How do we know what they will and won't like? Ok, maybe they didn't like it last time but maybe they will this time! I try really really hard to not project any of my own food biases, preferences and ideas on to the kids. Let them decide what they like. They might just surprise you! Let them decide what is too strong, too spicy, too gross. When the kids want to sample the raw garlic I am chopping, I just warn them 'It's a really strong flavour' and give them a tiny slice. Then they turn around and say they love it! You just never know. Kids can be weird, haha.  I am admittedly still a fussy eater in many areas unfortunately, thought I have gotten a lot better, I promise!! (I can't handle raw tomato, cucumber, avocado etc). I just LOVE however that the kids cheerfully eat all these things and they also have no idea that I don't like them as I try not to mention my own issues. When Eli requests peanut butter, vegemite, sultanas AND lettuce on one sandwich, I bite my tongue except to cheerfully say 'Sure' and let him at it. I love for them to try as many weird and wacky food combos as possible, it all helps with varying their palate. So, let them try whatever they want to try, and let them decide what they think. Any show of food confidence and adventurousness (is that a word?!) is a good thing in my book. 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT, BUT IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU COULD TRY IT

Another phrase I love which I read in a kids' cooking magazine article (which I could remember more specifics!) was 'You don't have to like it but it would be good if you could try it'. I think kids naturally become wary of new foods, especially around age two where even old favourites suddenly get cast aside (I think the taste buds and appetite does change around this age, it's been amazing to see the transition in all my kids). They are wary and think 'but I might not like it'... so just matter of factly letting them know you don't have to 'like' everything you try takes a lot of the fear away. Just one small taste! One day I invented a silly song to celebrate when the kids tried something new. We sing to the tune of 'Johnny works with one hammer' (no idea why this random tune is in my head!) 'Lily tried a new thing, a new thing, a new thing. Lily tried a new thing and she........' then let the child chime in with 'LIKED IT' or 'DIDN'T LIKE IT' or 'SORT OF LIKED IT' haha. This lets them be allowed to form an opinion but focuses the celebration on trying something new.They now sing this for themselves or each other and even Miles can sing the chorus :)

NO PUNISHMENTS OR REWARDS, ONLY NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
We don't reward or punish for eating and I also try to avoid threatening over food. So there is no 'finish your meal or you don't get dessert' type thing. I want them to eat because it's good food there to be eaten. Not only do I feel like rewarding for eating is getting stuck in a cycle I sure don't want to be in, I also don't like the message it sends to the kids, of forcing down one 'bad' type of food in order to get a 'good' one. It also feels like it elevates 'treats' too much?? There are logical consequences, as mentioned, of having to eat what is before them before they have something else, but I don't 'lead' or cajole with that as an incentive or punishment, it's just a matter of fact.

KEEP OFFERING!

Don't let it be set in your mind that they don't like something, 'cos taste buds change! They say it can take 17 tries for taste buds to come around to a new food. I have seen myself a certain veggie be placed on a plate day after day and then all of a sudden become a favourite. It can happen ;) Don't stress about it, just keep offering.

EVERYDAY/SOMETIMES/PARTY FOOD

We talk about food as 'every day' foods, 'sometimes' foods and 'party' food. Not good/bad food. For a while I tried to take the approach of all food being neutral, only focusing on the nourishment purposes and not the differing pleasure in eating - the idea being to take the emotional power out of food....but I got over that as it just felt inauthentic. While I don't want to build up junk food, let's be honest, it's more fun to go out for ice cream than a cucumber!! ;) There is joy and community and pleasure in eating and I felt fake pretending like food was nothing more than fuel. We can also take pleasure in the bounty of food God provides us, right!?

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE 

My overall goal is a good start to a healthy relationship to food for their lives. To be able to understand their bodies, how food is like medicine that either nourishes or harms, to enjoy eating good food but not to be consumed by it (I am not one to stress about every morsel - I follow the 80/20 rule - eat well 80% of the time and don't worry about the other 20%). To listen to their bodies in relation to what they eat - what feels good, what doesn't, when their tummy is truly hungry and when it has had enough. Kids won't stave themselves, so don't stress too much about them eating more or less at different times. If they get hungry enough, they will eat! So we just try to make sure what they do eat is as nutritional as possible (most bang for your buck!). Admittedly my kids have always been pretty big eaters so I have never had the 'sparrow eater' challenge but I think the rule still applies, and they certainly have had meal times where they have chosen to eat very little or even nothing. And that's ok.

In Summary.... (you still with me??)

My kids are encouraged to try everything on their plate, but they don't have to finish the plate. Appetites waver, this is just part of life. I don't stress if some meal times (or even days) they don't eat much at all, and other times they are ravenous. It all balances out. Again, just keep presenting healthy options and don't micro manage the intake. It makes life a whole lot less stressful for everyone ;) 

Now, do my kids sometimes complain about certain foods? Have foods they don't really like? Yes. And yes! They are human after all ;) Do I sometimes cajole them to eat just a bit more? Errr... yes, that happens sometimes too! If they are just being distracted (eg children!) at meal time, I might ask them to take five more bites before they leave the table. Cos I am also human, haha!! Sometimes (gasp) I have even said to hurry and finish so they can have a treat. Real life, folks. They aren't robots and neither am I! However generally, the principles laid out above are what we follow in our family and are working for us so far. We don't stress about food in our family, I just try to be intentional about giving them nourishing foods and let it unfold from there. I should add that we also talk a lot about gratefulness, good manners, trying your best to eat what's before you especially when you are a guest, to show appreciation for Mummy's cooking (complaining about the meal is not okay), and so on. We talk about how every meal does not have to be a 'favourite', we can still eat food we don't prefer, with thankfulness. It's important to me that my kids gratefully receive the food before them and recognise where it comes from. It's ok to not love everything you eat, but it is not okay to be ungrateful for it. This is a work in progress, of course ;) But my trio meanwhile happily eat everything from curry to relish to olives to kale chips.

Lily having fun with black bean wraps!

At the end of the day, some kids will just naturally have wider palates than others. One child of mine can happily swig a shot of Apple Cider Vinegar and barely flinch (sour!!!!) which I can barely tolerate! Not so for another child. But I truly believe that children can appreciate a much wider range of foods than just sultanas and chicken nuggets. These early years are so crucial in setting them up with a diverse palate, a healthy appetite and an appreciation for good nutritious food which will hopefully go with them for life.

And so... this was my hodge-podge of collated thoughts and experiences... I hope some of it may be useful or helpful, or inspiring - feel free to cherry pick as you please :) Also - add any of YOUR tips and thoughts below!



xx

toasted muesli // nutritious and delicious

Don't worry, this ain't never gonna be a food blog! Hardly!

But I just had to share our attack on the final frontier... breakfast! As I strive to feed my family more and more nourishing, whole foods in our diet, breakfast is kinda the last area I hadn't really tackled. Yes, most important meal of the day and all that, it probably should have been the first!!! Oh well. Babysteps, right? A weekday variety of peanut butter wholegrain toast or Weetbix was 'okay', but not as nutritious or filling as it could have been. Eli was regularly begging for more food by 9am, so I knew it was not cutting it! ;)

Once our chickies start laying (in the next couple weeks, we hope!) we want to have eggs most mornings but I also wanted to start making a hearty rolled-oat-based muesli. Porridge is great in winter, but it's not something we want to eat all year long. Mark gives the kids breakfast in the mornings before work and it's gotta be something quick and simple. Huge props to you if you get up at dawn to cook waffles or bacon and eggs every weekday, but it just ain't happening around here!! We need something fast, easy and a staple that can be eaten most days.

I found this divine recipe for toasted muesli from one of my favourite food blogs, Well Nourished, and whipped up a mega batch. It's delicious. Super yummy, super healthy, so nourishing and.... Eli didn't even mention food till 11am. That's gotta be a record!!! So, you know it's hearty ;) The  kids think it is a huge treat - they just love it. Mark and I do too! It tastes like a 'fancy expensive shop bought muesli, the likes of which we could not afford to eat daily' haha.  The kids like to eat it with a splash of milk and a dollop of greek yoghurt. We are all busy nom-nomming it each morning now.

I filled it with rolled oats, nuts (walnut and pecan), seeds (pepita, sunflower, chia, sesame), sultanas and cranberries, puffed rice, shredded coconut, psyllium husk, rolled quinoa flakes, cinnamon and whatever else I could find in the pantry (as well as most everything else in the recipe!). Toasting it with honey/coconut oil makes it all super delish and crunchy.

Check out the original blog if you want to whip up a batch - takes no time to pour all the ingredients in together then just bake in the oven. Easy-peasy - the kids can help too!

It feels really good to have something so nourishing, hearty, home made and delicious ready to go each morning.

So, here's to a more wholesome start to the day :)

PS Now, where's my eggs, chickies??

PPS I  also highly recommend Georgia's new Well Nourished Lunchbox eBook! It's truly fantastic (and gorgeous) - every recipe a winner with both kids and adults and helps me pack a nourishing and filling delicious lunch for the kids :) #affiliatelink

Make Your Own Spreadable Butter! Easy, Healthy & Yum!

Well, I know I am not quite the Pioneer Woman (ha!), but I got so excited by this idea (yeah, I know, get a life!), that I just had to share once I finally tried it out...

Yes, you can make your very own yummy spreadable butter. How wonderous, you are thinking...

Indeed...but first the back story!

Butter versus Margarine.

The big debate right?! Well, I grew up eating margarine and honestly thought there was no difference between them in taste or otherwise, except that one you couldn't spread! Well, cut to a few years ago when I started to get a little more health-aware and trying to cut out certain processed foods, chemicals and additives where I could... in particular trans fat, which margarine contains - so I decided to swap to butter. 'Just eat real food', is now my basic food mantra! Don't get me wrong, I am not obsessive and don't stress about eating junk at times, but just try to keep making small and better choices and changes where and when I can. Baby-steps and all that. So, margarine was out and butter was in. Funnily though, I now couldn't touch margarine with a ten foot pole, just based on taste alone - can't believe how different they are! And how much a palette can change...

So, taste and health-wise, butter was my new best friend... except for the small issue of spreadability. Canberra being the climate of extreme temperatures that it is, leaving it out on the bench just didn't seem to work. Either it was so hot here it melted into a greasy puddle, or so cold during winter that it was like trying to scrape a block of ice. In fact the temperature in the fridge was probably warmer, haha!

So I started buying spreadable butter sometimes but not only was it a lot more expensive but... gasp... most of them had trans fat in them too! Sigh. Anyway, we persevered with the butter variations but a few months ago some clever friends mentioned on Facebook that they make their own spreadable butter by mixing it with oil.

Stop.the.press! MAKE YOUR OWN!?! What a radical yet 'why on earth didn't I think of that' idea!

Of course over the last few months making spreadable butter hasn't been the top of the priority list but I was so keen to give it a go when I could. I did a bit of googling and found a hundred variations of the idea so I made a recipe ratio that seemed like it would work and gave it a shot! TOO EASY, people! So I thought I would record it here on the old blogaroo in case anyone else wants to try it and save on both money and chemicals...

One variation I found online was some used canola oil to mix with it, while others preferred the health benefits of olive oil. Some said though that olive oil when chilled in the fridge went too hard. I would much prefer olive oil too so decided to combine them both for hopefully the best of both worlds! Also, I used light olive oil so the butter didn't taste too olive-oiley! Some said to add water too but that was a bit too whacky for me!

The ratio I came up with was -

• 500 grams softened butter
• 1.5 cups oil (1 cup extra light olive oil, 1/2 cup canola oil)

Then the process was just - 

• Beat the butter in a bowl for a couple minutes until whipped/lighter colour
• Slowly add the oil while still beating - it will become quite liquid, like a pancake batter
• That's it - pour into containers to chill overnight! (I used 2 x 500ml glass Pyrex containers)

The whipping also adds air/volume so your butter goes even further. Good for the grocery bill too!

Anyway, I excitedly chilled overnight and in the morning - hey presto - light, easy to scrape and spread, yummy buttery-tasting butter! Woohooooooooo!!!

Ok, ok, maybe I am just a leeeettle too excited over this but what can I say? Finding something that benefits my family in both health and dollars and practicality = yeeha! Not to mention a satisfying conclusion to an ongoing butter saga, haha!!! No more ripping up fresh bread or hacking at hard butter blocks. It only took a couple minutes to do, so it's very easy to make up a few tubs to last...well.... not too long in this house with our toast and sandwich-loving horde!

Alright, alright, if I talk about butter any longer, I'm sure every reader is going to boycott this blog so I will stop now. But go on... give it a go!! ;)

Yours in buttery-spreadable goodness xx


Edited to add: As this is one of my most popular posts, I thought I had better update it (over a year and a half later) to say that we still make and eat our spreadable butter this way - it's the only way we have our 'spreading' butter now! Still easy, delicious, and convenient. The only thing I wanted to change here is that we now make it with only olive oil (1.5 cups), and not canola or similar. I try to avoid all those more processed vegetable oils these days. Here is a starting article on why. It works fine with just olive oil... a little bit harder straight out of the fridge but still spreadable (and much more spreadable than straight butter would be! Just wanted to add that little update in case it helps anyone wanting to avoid canola/vegetable oils too. x

Glimmer of Hope...

Mummy, look at me hopping!

Well, I have been hesistant to believe/say/write it but... I am starting to have glimmers of feeling a bit better!!

Can I get an 'oooooooh-yeah'?!

After three tough pregnancies of being very sick for 20 weeks each time and trying every remedy/treatment/cure that is out there, nothing has worked until now. I must give a huge shout ouf to my amazingly clever (and caring) friend Kate Swincer of www.naturalhealthworks.com.au in Sydney. It is through her combo of Chiropractic Care/Applied Kinesiology (and now through Fiona Glenn at Forrest Chiropractics here in Canberra due to Kate ever-so-selfishly living back in Sydney) along with Zinc and B6 drops I am seeing some real improvement especially in the day after treatment. Like - yesterday (post treatment) a whole day of NO vomiting!! Imagine that!

No, I am nowhere near 100%, but have improved markedly from the 5-10% I was barely surviving at to maybe 40-50% (still up and down but feeling half-alive again, can even talk and sit up a bit!). I am sooo thankful this seems to be having real results and so grateful for windows of relief from this sickness. Please pray it continues to improve from here!

Just wanna also give a huge shout of thanks to my rockin' readers and friends who have sympathised, cheered me on and supported me through this phase of sickness. You have warmed my heart through countless dark moments. No, I'm not all better yet but even to have windows of relief is humongous for me. God is good. Friends are also good. This baby growing inside me... undoubtedly good, undoubtedly worth it.

So, thanks, friends!

Mother-in-Law to the Rescue!

One last bed time story... one of hundreds!

Today we had to say goodbye to my amazing mother-in-law! *sad face* Margaret flew all the way over here from Perth for a full three weeks to care for our family. She has looked after the kids each day, made meals, kept up with the laundy and just generally kept our heads above water for the duration! Not only this, but it was beautiful to overhear the fun every day, Marg doing craft, painting and games with the kids, walks to the park and even adventures to the library, park and shops! Such a blessing to these kids who normally only get to see the Perth grandparents once a year at best! I know their relationship was strengthened as they all got to know each other a little better.

Not only was this three weeks a nice relief for the rest of my amazing support team, it was so good for Mark to have his beloved Mum here too - to work with in keeping the house running and for company too as I'm pretty much the most boring person around these days! Loved hearing them chatting away for hours of an evening... so cute :)


Marg, I will never be able to express how grateful I am to you for coming over during this time and giving of your time and energy so generously. We are so indebted to you and love you so much - this is why you are my mother not just in-law, but in-love! Thank you so much... xx

Daddy. Sick.

Well, Daddy came down with the flu. Man-flu, no less (and we all know that's worse!)

So there we were, laid up in bed - me vomiting and nauseous, Mark, shivering and feverish. What a pair!!

Thankfully my wonderful mother-in-law was still with us to keep the kids clothed and fed or who knows what would have happened to them!

Eli strolled in to assess the situation.

'Mummy sick. Daddy sick. Sleepy-time.' was his summation!

So he gave Daddy a kiss good-night. And yes, Mark tried to avoid breathing on him. Probably still a little too close but in a snuggly family like ours, let's be honest, there are no avoiding each other's germs!

Poor Daddy!

Two Sick Girls

Lily went off to school chirpily today, but came home quiet, pale-faced and feverish with a sore tummy - not well! Uh-oh! Thankfully she is the world's best patient when she is sick - no tears or complaints, she just sleeps a lot, lies around quietly, reads or watches TV. So after going down to nap without wanting lunch and then an episode of Playschool she cottoned on to the idea that two sick girls should really be hanging out together. Into bed with me she crawled, both of us miserable and yet happy to be together. Her hand clutched mine under the cover, we just lay there on our pillows looking into each other's eyes.

'We just always love each other, don't we, Mummy?' she asked. We sure do, baby girl. Variations of this sweet phrase were repeated all afternoon, she is such a verbally affectionate little girl - 'I love you, Mummy, I just love you!' she repeats as she burrows as close as she can. It did my heart so good to be close to her - I have missed spending time with her so much. Both of us unwell yet happy to be quietly side by side.. making the best of a bad situation. Not much talking, just peaceful, she laid there listlessly as I rested or read. Eventually she fell asleep next to me into the evening, the happiest little sick girl I ever did see.

Love her. Immeasurably.

Balloons and Rosies

Our dear friend Rosie, who is all sunshine and sweet laughter, is laid up in hospital after undergoing major back surgery for chronic back issues which I won't even try to explain here but suffice to say I know the girl has lived in a lot of pain in recent years, though she masks it well behind her warm smile.

So off to visit her we went.... bringing a helium balloon for some cheer along with a parcel of Lily's many drawings and she even made a hand drawn 'magazine' for Rosie's reading pleasure!!

A little play with the balloon before we gift it to Rosie!

'How does it stay up there?'

'Weeeeee!!'

Argh, he is such a little dude! I love him!!

Snacks to keep the kids occupied during the visit!

Eli catches up with Rosie .
Btw, don't be fooled by how fab she looks, the girl is still in a LOT of pain during recovery...

Cuddles with Rosie.... very gentle, tentative cuddles!

Kids starting to go wild, bonking themselves on the head... um... that's our cue to leave!!

The kids absolutely adooooore Rosie (as does everyone) and the visit to the hospital was just one big adventure to them.... they even got to check out Rosie's cool new scar! Just hope they weren't too rowdy or wearing on the patient!! It was just so good to see her and give her some love. Rosie has been the focus of many prayers during this ordeal....her gentle spirit has endured so much pain and although we know there is a long road of recovery ahead, her friends and family are cheering her on every step of the way!

Love you, Ringaring!! xx

This is the way we go to sleep...

Oh Eli! You have not been well lately - two year old molars have been causing us all grief, and then today I discovered you have your first ear infection... in fact the first ear infection of any of my kids as Lily has never had one.

I know you are out of sorts when you are actually asking to go to sleep!!

And this is how you have loved to sleep ever since you were a baby - with your arms full to the brim with things to cuddle.

Even when you were a newborn, you would scrabble your little hands around on your fitted cot sheet, desperate for something to clutch. We only used sleeping bags so no loose blankets to cuddle (for safety reasons). I think I actually ended up giving you a blanket at some point, though I can't remember when but I know when I did you would immediately shove it right in your face. Um, yeah, not great for SIDS risk!

These days you favour your Horse (horth), a blanket (bankit) and of course a Baby (baybeeeee). Yesterday it was also a tennis ball (yes, tightly clutched for your entire sleep, curled under your chin) and a range of other bizarre items have visited your cot in the past.

Eli, you are such a deliciously quirky little fellow. I love laying you down to sleep and seeing this adorable face shining up at me, I can never help but laugh at your arms filled with all manner of toys and blankets. You are so happy with all your little companions and ready for slumber with your little hands tightly clutched to your comforts.

Sleep well, beloved boy... rest up and get well soon... xx

Road Trippin'

We got up early in the morning to pack the car for a big road trip to Melbourne. Mark had a couple days of work meetings down there, which we were so thankful meant the whole family could tag along and spend some time together in a lovely hotel, catching up with all our Melbourne friends in the city (far too many of my faves have moved to Melbourne, what's up with that?!) and then spend the weekend with my sister and all my extended family who live down on the outskirts of Melbourne. We had been hoping to swing this kind of combo trip for a few months, but it all seemed impossible to orchestrate. The minute I gave up - suddenly it all came together perfectly!! Gotta love that!

Then Lily announced in the early morning that she wasn't feeling 'vewwy well'.

Then asked for a bucket.

Then threw up.

Then immediately lifted her head and said 'I can still go to Melbourne!!!'


Ah, this girl! She simply hates to miss out on anything and looooves holidays and adventures!

Poor little darling girl...

But what to do now?! She was soooo excited about this trip, and we were all ready to go. She seemed fine afterwards and we thought it might be one of those random occassions where she just throws up once and then is totally fine. She has done this a few times in the past. So we continued packing, got in the car by 8.30am, Lily armed with a trusty ice-cream bucket - just in case. Good thing we had it! Poor darling started to feel sick again and basically continued to throw up and sleep for most of the trip. No complaints, little champ. She would just sleep, wake up, vomit, then go back to sleep. Too sad for words, darling girl. Hardly any misses using her bucket either!! (Although there was one miss which required cleaning car seat and sick toddler by side of the freeway - good times). We discussed turning around but knew she would be more devasted to miss her holiday and lying there and vomiting would be all she could do at home too. Poor baby girl, I don't know what was up... a couple hours out of Melbourne she suddenly emerged from her haze, full of beans once more!! And none of us (thankfully) got sick either so I really don't know what it was. Anyway, she was just fine and we all survived!

Eli happily read most of the way. Yes, his book is upside down in this photo. We are just grateful he has his good looks to fall back on in future, if needed! ;)  (Eli, if you read this in future years, this is just Mummy joking, we all know how clever you are!)

We made it to the hotel, a lovely two bedroom apartment overlooking Carlton Gardens in Melbourne. The kids (and Mummy) shrieked 'WOW' as we entered (and Eli continued to shriek 'Wow' every time we entered our apartment for the rest of the stay!). The 12th floor gave us a glorious view of the gardens, the city skyline and of course the traffic - the kids loved traffic spotting especially the busses and of course trams!





The kids were right at home!

We felt very spoilt in our central location and settled into our temporary home with all the glee two little kids can possibly muster. We got to enjoy dinner with a dear friend that night too, and of course Mama enjoyed just chilling with her precious family without cooking or cleaning to think about - yeeha!!