a mother's retreat // reflect, refresh, refocus, recharge

I recently returned from my fourth annual 'Mama's Retreat'. Yes, for the last four years I have left behind my supportive (awesome!) hubby and my young children (now numbering three!) for a 24 hour escape to a local hotel....

Yep, just me, in blissful silence, with books, movies, room service and nothing but sweet, sweet TIME.

Sound too good to be true? It's not. Sound like something you want in on? You can!

Honestly, it's something I would encourage every mother who is so inclined to make happen. Just one night out of a whole year is not so much, is it? Yet it can make a huge difference in your mindset during daily life. If you plan for it, and get your partner on board (just send them a link to this post, heehee!), you can make it happen!

It is time to retreat, to refresh, to recharge and let's not forget - refocus.

If you are a mother of small children (and in my case, a SAHM), it can be so easy to get stuck in the cycle of mothering without intention. 'Cos we are just busy, busy, busy with the daily tasks of keeping little people alive (and even thriving!). We also don't tend to get an annual review for our work, you know?! A little getaway to not only recharge but just have time and space to think and ponder... and nap!... can work wonders going forward, helping to assess how things are going in the family, and what you might want things to be different in the future.

Inspired by my need for a little head space (and physical space too) after a very busy year four years ago, and then further motivated by the wonderful blog Inspired to Action I went on my first retreat three years ago, and now this little getaway is something I dream of (in certain moments of chaos!!) all year long. There is something to be said about stepping out of the every day life to help you reassess that life and dive back into it with renewed viguor.

What do you do there? Well that is really up to you and what you feel like you need. Absolutely exhausted? Then, sleep! Feeling like you want to reassess how things are going in the family, with your kids or with your parenting or marriage, or even to focus on some of your own personal growth and goals? Spend some time thinking, planning, rescheduling. Read, write, journal, set goals. Whatever you think is of value to you... but I encourage you (if you can) to plan what you want to work on in advance, so you have something ready to work through (turning up with nothing but an empty notebook can leave you feeling a little aimless and overwhelmed, I personally find!). And of course, spend some time doing whatever feels truly relaxing to you (watching a movie, going for a walk, reading, taking a bath, lying on the bed in a daze for an hour, etc).

For me, I have developed a little routine over the years. When I first arrive, it feels impossible to relax, after all, we are so used to being busy, busy, busy! (Plus, I'm so excited!). So I take off for a walk down the street by the hotel, to burn some energy and clear my head. I return to my room for a long peaceful shower. Now I can start to wind down!

Now, there is not much point in taking time to relax if you dive back into the same chaos you left, with no change in either your attitude or your approach. So, I like to take a good couple of hours to just sit on the bed, surrounded by papers. I pray, I read my Bible and do some Bible study. Spending time with God is the foundation of all my planning as my faith is core to who I am, so it's a good place for me to start! I usually refine my family mission statement and this year I also reflected on the page of family values and priorities my husband has recently developed (bless him!). I considered ways we can work to meet those goals for our children and family. I wrote notes and journeled, thinking about my goals for 2015. What's working, what's not. I thought about my challenges, my (many!) failings, things I want to work on, things I want to refocus on. One key thought I came away with is that our children are not the only ones growing up in this family! There is so much opportunity for personal growth in parenting (don't we know it?!) and yet it's so easy to brush over this in the busy-ness of day to day life with littles.  This time of reflection helps me be more intentional about the year ahead.

Surrounded by papers, Bible, notebook and a cuppa. I take a rare opportunity to really sit down and reflect.

How rare and good it was to have pure unbroken time to sit and reflect and work through this stuff! It's too easy to rush through life without pausing and planning. I just love having an opportunity to stop and do this annually - while also having time left over to just relax too! ;)

After all that brain work, it was definitely time to chill out. I laid in bed, reading magazines and drinking cups of tea. I may have taken a teeny nap! Mmmm, decadent or what?! I later ordered room service for dinner and watched a DVD on my laptop. It.was.awesome.

It's funny how motherhood changes you.... in many ways of course. But for me, one thing in particular is that a decade ago I would have called myself one of the world's biggest extroverts, just getting so much energy from being with people. Now? With my daily life surrounded by very chatty, noisy, touchy (beloved!) little people, I crave solitude like you wouldn't believe. I just love this peaceful time, the sweet, sweet silence, the time on my own. Well, who knew? ;)

Room service for dinner... while I watched a movie. Blissssssss. Although I sadly couldn't finish the huge rich
brownie despite best efforts! So relaxed I forgot to take any more pics past this point!!

When I go home to my family, it is with renewed energy and appreciation. My cup is full, I am refreshed and ready to embrace my precious and rich and chaotic family life once more. No doubt, much like this year, the every day stresses come flooding back with relentless abandon and yet... I know my ability to cope with them is that much greater than it would have been before. I am more intentional, more mindful, more present.

And of course the kids and Dad have a fine old time while I am away.... the kids love special Daddy time, and I loooooove my hubby for being so supportive of this time for me. It is certainly never the 'perfect' time to go away, but we always manage to make it work at some point each year. He is a gem for being so on board with this :)

On a single income, this certainly isn't something we easily afford, but thanks to my dear husband's support, it's something we save and plan for. I always look for a really good deal on a last minute hotel booking website which helps of course :) There are lots of ways to make it possible if you are committed to making it happen but funds are tight - put away a few dollars each week, stay at a friend's house who is away, etc. If you are a single parent (props to you, mama!!!), you could work out a swap with another friend?

A mother's retreat can move from daydream to reality and I hope if this sounds appealing to you, you are able to make it happen. Let me know how it goes!!! As mothers it can be just too easy to get lost in our days of preparing meals, sweeping floors, rushing to work, putting on another load of laundry, caring and nurturing our children. A regular ritual of intentionally stepping outside of that, to retreat, refresh and refocus can be of invaluable worth.

And that sleep in? Waking up naturally, with only the sound of silence and not having to tend to anyone else, just for once? Let me tell you, it's priceless ;)


PS. If you are looking for resources to use on your retreat, you can create your own 'Mothers' Mission Statement' by downloading the free eBook at Inspired to Action here.

a little coast trip // a little girl's time

Last weekend, four very giddy ladies set off for a cosy winter escape to the south coast. My lovely friends Amber, Jess, Kate G and I packed up and left the kids in the capable hands of our wonderful hubbies so we could enjoy a little 'girl's only' retreat!

We stayed at Jess' beautiful family coast house and to say we were excited about a child-free weekend would be the understatement of the century!!!

I made Chocolate Bark to nibble over the weekend. I think it was all gone by the first night!!! (And I made double this batch, haha). Dark chocolate, sprinkled with cranberries and toasted pistachios, almonds, chia, sesame and sunflower seeds and salt flakes. Mmmmmm. 

All in all, it was blissful.

Truly could not have been better... all I had been daydreaming of and more. We stayed up chatting till almost 1am both nights, then slept in till almost 10am both mornings! Scandalous, haha! It seriously felt sooooo decadent, to have no noise and no compulsion to get up for anything. The peace and quiet was just amazing. And we just talked, talked, talked. About... you know... everything and nothing :) Oh, and ate. And drank tea by the fireside as it poured down outside. We watched movies, read books and even crafted!! Well, two of us (cough, cough, Jess&KateG, clever ladies!) crafted mostly ;) I was encouraged to get in on the act even though I have noooooo crafty skills.... and managed (with much coaching from a patient Kate G) to create a cute little felt bunny. I was pretty proud of him, haha and felt immensely satisfied when it was done. I can hardly bear to gift him to the kids, lol!!!

This iPhone pic pretty much sums up the weekend - roaring fire, chocolate, nail
polish, chai tea and crafty remnants :)

We strolled down the main street of the sleepy little coastal town, digging through op shops for treasure and meandering through fancy clothes stores.... just relishing the opportunity to browse without little people tugging sleeves and requesting food. The second day was blustery, chilly and more than a little overcast... but we eventually managed to extract ourselves from the fireside to have a coffee at a charming local cafe and wind our way down to a secret beach with the most amazing rocky shoreline.

I cannot begin to tell you how refreshing it was. I was so thankful for a chunk of time with such inspiring, amazing women. How good it was to soak up their good hearts and weighty life stories. How indulgent it felt to just chill out and listen to good music and chit chat about favourite artists and concerts. How peaceful it was to just sit.... to eat only when we felt hungry, to potter through the day with no agenda, no rush and no one else to tend to!

It was rejuvenating and delightful and I am very grateful to this dear trio for inviting me along on such an amazing escape. I am still daydreaming about our time - yes, it already seems like a dream!!!

I highly recommend getting together with your friends for a weekend escape :) Keep it simple, book it well ahead (we coordinated our calendars three months ago!) and just enjoy the company of friends and a change of pace. A step outside of the every day is always nice!

I can't believe I somehow made this cute bunny!!?? Ok, he is only about 2.5 inches long and I had a lot of instruction
(thanks Kate G!!) but goodness me, you would have thought it was the Mona Lisa, I felt so satisfied, haha!!!  I am really
not crafty so I just was in shock I think ;)

I was also thankful to take some mental space (as I love to do when I get away) to reflect on God's provisions in my life. He guides me through life's ups and downs and provides reprieves where it is needed. He blessed me greatly with this weekend, and encouraged me through the generous spirits of three dear friends... one old, two new, all amazing :) There was a bit of a water theme this weekend it seemed, with rain and oceans and creeks. While the rain trickled down, I was thankful for moments of peace to reflect on the streams of Living Water that flow through me and give purpose to my days. God is good :) It kind of reminded me I should go back to the Source a little more often!


Sooo....


We were so chilled out I could barely bother to take any photos (that chocolate wasn't going to eat itself, you know!!) but on the last day I grabbed a few snaps as we packed up the house (sniff!) and checked out a magic little beach....

Baby, it's cold outside (so we just huddled inside by the fire!)

A beautiful bush/beach retreat :)

Coastal Cafe 

It was grey and stormy and the waves sure were crashing!

We picked our way down a precarious path to a secret little beach. As we reached the cliff top, I started shrieking
'Dolphins!!! Dolphins!!!!!!!!'. Yeah. I'm not one to play it cool. Seeing a pod of beautiful dolphins (about four?) playing around just a hundred metres from shore totally made my day :)

We managed to balance the camera and the timer to get a group shot... barely making the frame!
Amber, Jess and Kate - thanks girls, for a perfect weekend. I feel truly grateful to know you :) So inspired by you all!

The most amazing beach filled with beautiful textural stones. It was so enchanting to dig through them all, so pretty!
We took a few home for the kids to enjoy too :)

Tiny black pebbles made up the shoreline

A magic beach, a magic weekend. Sigh. 

Great memories to tide us over - till next time!! ;)

PS It was also wonderful to wind our way home early Sunday evening,  to be greeted by my champion husband (he said he had a super fun weekend with the kids) and a clean house, dinner ready, and three hysterically excited kids (bearing freshly picked flowers) who had already been fed and bathed. What a welcome!!! They inundated me with more cuddles than a mother could ever hope for. Coming home is the best bit, after all xx

49/52 - a gift of time, a gift of giving

Lily

She is the kinda kid who, when missing a day of school due to a vomiting-virus, takes her teacher flowers, a card and a gift (fancy shower gels) to say 'sorry for missing school'.

Seriously!!

I tried to explain that she really didn't need to, that she couldn't help being sick and her teacher understood that, etc etc.. but at a certain point you just gotta let them follow their own convictions, huh?!

Pretty sure her darling Preschool teacher had never received a gift for that reason before?! Oh, my girl!

She had been working on the card for her teacher before she got sick, but once that happened, the motivation changed and of course had to be upgraded with (pretty yet fake) flowers and present too.

Love her heart.

Eli 

Last week I went on my third annual Mother's Retreat! (Click here to read more about why and how I do this!). Ohhh... it was long awaited and greatly appreciated! Yup, just me by my sweet self, in a near by hotel for the night. Nothing but peace and quiet for almost 24 hours. Time to pray, read my Bible, think, plan and set goals for 2014. Focus on my faith, my heart, my mothering, our family and our future. In the busyness of these days, it's so good to stop and really think about how things are going, and where we are going. 

Apart from a couple hours of this 'work' time, there was also plenty of time to chill out, nap, take a walk, read magazines (bliss!), watch a movie, get room service (!!!) and just do nothing. And did I mention the silence?!

Oh, it was refreshing and rejuvenating to my very depths. It almost didn't happen this year due to other commitments and stretched finances, but I started to hit a wall and thankfully Mark insisted we find a way to make it happen. It was so good. I have come to rely on (and dream of!) that retreat each year - just space and time and quiet to be still. In the busyness of mothering in these early years, that is a rare commodity! Yes, I dream of that sleep in all year long, haha ;)

My incredible husband handled the kids like a champ while I was away. There was home made pizzas and pancakes, games and even chores. He is the best :) 

I came home all 'filled up' and ready to be fully present with my precious tribe once more. I was greeted with big hugs and kisses and declarations of being missed dreadfully. Eli presented me with this adorable basket full of drawings  and  cards. Mark later quietly mentioned they had actually drawn them all for him and then regifted them as soon as I walked in the door! Ha!!! Ah well, I will take whatever I can get.

That annual retreat is something I cherish and appreciate so much... and it is ever so good to have time on my own. But it's even better to have a loving and happy home to return to. Being enveloped in cuddles as I walked in the door was a very good reminder of that!

My sweet son presenting me with their re-gift!

Miles

Just a little sneak peak of our Christmas set up.... we can't wait to share our first Christmas with this little treasure!

(I have a hundred more shots of the Christmas tree set up but will save that hopefully for another post on our family Christmas traditions if I can find time to write it!!)

Project 52: A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2013

More highlights from the week that was...

He loves playing with these giant cars!

After the kids chose their own gifts to give to children at Marymead last week, we took
them down to donate. Lily drew pictures for the kids too. E is a little stressed in this pic
that the bag is too heavy to carry ;)

Experiencing the gift of giving. 

Looking so grown up and summery! Can't believe we are hitting summer again
which means my baby is almost one!!

Her card says 'Dear Lana, I hope your fish has a happy life, love Lily'. 

Off to celebrate the birthday of Miss Harper . We are at that stage where 'How do you spell that, Mum??' is a constant cry and I am confess to sometimes getting a bit tired of slowly spelling out words!! But at the same time, it's amazing to see how she has naturally progressed from random word and letter writing to wanting to form lengthy purposeful messages. All self-led. Though her focus seems to be mostly on the nouns, haha. This message was 'I hope Finn celebrates Harper's Birthday' (!??!). It is a gorgeous process to watch even with the teeth-grittingly-slow spelling out of long words. :)

Miss Harper filled with joy at the sight of her gorgeous Dolly Varden cake she has longed for, made my her loving Mum!

Could this be!? A photo of my three, all happy and smiling??! Ok, so not all looking at the camera, E's collar is askew etc - but I will take it! :) I think this is still the best posed shot I have of them!

You betcha I'm including all decent shots from this quick little shoot!

Eli got the serious face here.

Oh, Eli!

Keeping it real: For every cute shot, there are about twenty that look like this. Which is why I rarely try to get posed shots of my trio - it is really not good for my blood pressure!!!

Smothered in love xx

Brunch and Balloons

Off to brunch today with my lovely girls in part to celebrate my upcoming birthday but mostly just to catch up after a far-too-long break.... 

Oh, how gloriously delightful it is to eat yummy food (and actually enjoy it) whilst kicking back for a leisurely two hours of laughs, stories and catching up with my loooooong-time friends. Quite a lot has been happening during my seclusion - including another pregnancy, and a birth! Happy news all round...

Brunch is pretty much my most favourite meal...
hotcakes with caramelised banana and cinnamon marscapone.... DELISH!

Janet with precious baby Lachlan on his first social outing, Bel (and bump), me and lovely Anna!

I arrived home to find Mark had helped the kids make birthday decorations for me...how sweet are they!?
Painted balloons (and cut up electrical tape stickers, lol!). These ones by Lily

Balloon creations by Eli. Love, love, love my cute family!

Retreating and a little Romance!

After my rejuvenating and refocusing day before, my retreat continued when I awoke in my hotel room around 9.30am to Room Service tapping on the door to deliver my breakfast. Ooh yeah, I could get used to this!!! (But won't, don't worry, that's part of the fun!)

Ok, the food wasn't all that amazing but hey, it was delivered to me and I didn't have to make it so I was happy! Not to mention getting to eat it and drink my cappucino while reading my book in bed. Oooh yeah!

I checked out at 11am, feeling all kinds of chilled out, then headed to the shopping centre for a little retail therapy to finish off my retreat. Well, buying flannelette sheets isn't all that glamourous but it needed to be done and it was good to have the time to do it - I even got to cruise around in an op-shop, which I love to do, picking up a few little treasures including some fun things for the kids.

I then hurried home, renewed and refreshed, to reunite with my precious family. Ohhhh, so good to be home again. My most precious three greeted me, waiting eagerly out the front of the house for my return, with squeals and laughs, kisses and bear hugs.

This is where I belong and I only went away in order to return more fully to them. Yes, home is where my heart is, with my sweet three.

They had a fine old time in my absence, with pizza-making, games and good times. Mark had everything in hand including the laundry... what a champ!! Lily assured me she had missed me and it was so good to snuggle up with them and talk about what wild adventures we had been up to.

Ready to head out for a night on the town with my love!

That night, we had already organised to head out for a date night after a friend had offered to babysit. After already being away for 24 hours it seemed decadent to go out again so soon, but it turned out to be perfect - a lovely opportunity to spend time with my love, and to talk about all the things I had thought about in my time away, and to discuss together our family values and priorities for the year ahead. Not to mention eating ourselves silly, laughing together as we tend to do (we consider ourselves highly-amusing in our own little world!) and then heading to the movies for a late film. A fabulous night out on the town reconnecting with my beloved just us two was the perfect ending to my weekend retreat of refreshing...

*happy sigh*

'Rest and Refocus' // My 2nd Annual Mama's Retreat

Today I 'went away' for 24 uninterrupted and precious hours on what is my second Annual (I hope!) Retreat... a Mama's Retreat, but more than that, a 'just me and God' retreat.

I didn't escape very far... in fact, just to an average kind of hotel a mere five minutes away but let me tell you, I felt like I was on the other side of the country! The purpose of this time away?

Rest, Reflect, Refocus, Refresh

It all started last year... in the midst of a mad and chaotic year, I started craving some quiet time and space. The kids were two and not-even-one. Mark was working crazy hours in a job he thankfully has since moved away from. We were renovating after just having sold one house and bought another. Life was busy, I was stressed. Imagine 24 hours away, I thought, just in a hotel somewhere doing nothing.... wouldn't that be bliss!! Just that - a silly fantasy I'm sure shared by many mothers of young children and anyone with a busy life!! Then I came across this amazing woman's blog Inspired to Action and her call to Mothers everywhere to plan an annual retreat for themselves. Want to be convinced about why and how you should also give it a go?? Go ahead and read here and here, then do what I did.... email the link to your hubby, heehee!! He got on that train quick smart, bless him!

When I read these posts, it made me not only crave the retreat even more, I was truly inspired to be even more purposeful about it and saw a deeper need for it. As the author says, if you just retreat but return to the exact same way things have been, you will only end up burnt out again! As well as rest (which, hey, we all need!) and sleeping and watching movies or whatever, I was inspired also to use the time to refocus and reflect on where I and my family were at (through various methods which I will get into later). Mark said - Let's make it happen - and so we did. Suffice to say - it was fantastic, I came back with my cup overflowing and my beloved husband insisted that we would be making it an annual thing. I did not even try to argue!!! ;) He is such a dear supportive husband, that guy! Last year it happened to be close to Mother's Day and we decided to keep it in that vicinity so we wouldn't forget (as if I could!) and it ties in well with the nurturing that Mother's Day signifies, which is handy!

I had started in the last few months to get excited once again about this upcoming time away. However, slicing out 24 hours from our schedules isn't always easy and I couldn't quite see how it would work out in the foreseeable future due to a myriad of reasons (like, you know, life!). Then all of a sudden yesterday Mark was going to have a short work day for various reasons and said 'Just go tomorrow'. Now, dear reader, as much as I would love to think of myself as wildly spontaneous, I rarely am with much relish. I am a planner, I like to know what is happening, and get my little mind around the upcoming events. So, I protested and gave multiple reasons why today simply could not work and my gentle husband listened, coaxed and then eventually just insisted all would be fine and that I should seize the day, book the hotel, and GO!!!!

So I did!

I jumped on the internet and through lastminute.com.au booked the cheapest hotel I could find that also had room service (not wanting to waste money on a fancy room just for myself!) and was out the door within an hour. Eek! I admit I always have torn and mixed feelings as I embark. Looking at the kid's cute faces, hearing them excitedly chat about making pizza with Daddy and so on, I hate to miss out on the family fun and at the last minute question what on earth I am doing this for!! I love being with my family!! But I know the time is important and valuable for them to have to themselves too, and I know I will actually benefit from this time and so.... out I went.

Walking into my hotel room, I felt my body physically relax to the extent I almost started weeping right then. A room of my own, no schedule or expectations, nobody to care for or talk to, nothing to clean, just quietness and time. Plus, sweet, sweet, silence! Deep breaths and so much gratitude for this space. Amazing!!

A little reading material!

So what did I do? I started off with a long and thoughtful walk in the glorious Autumn sunshiney afternoon then came back to a loooooong hot shower. After which, by 3.30pm I was snuggled up in the comfy big bed that I pretty much did not leave until the next day - oh the decadence! I sorta had a teensy nap (shock! unheard of!), and then curled up with a cuppa and launched into reading an incredible book I had purchased and been saving up for this very occasion - the heartwarming and inspiring Bloom by Kelle Hampton of Enjoying the Small Things... her blog is all kinds of wonderful, so please check it out if you are not already familiar.

Amazing book, coffee, chocolate..... bliss!!

After that rest and refreshment, I was ready to get serious and refocus. I spent a couple of hours in thought, prayer and meditation, reflecting on the year that has past and what is ahead in the year to come. I scribbled about five pages of notes, lists and ideas in my notebook - examining goals, thinking through my priorities, things that need to change, new ideas to implement. I reflected on the darling children - character traits and behaviours I want to focus on, and how to show them love and grace in better ways. Shortcomings in my mothering I wanted to work on. I considered ways I can better support my beloved and hardworking husband, and what things I need to have in my life to keep me balanced and functioning effectively. Examining what things need to be dropped out of our 'bucket', what things to add in to better reflect where we really want our time and energy going. I refined my 'Mission Statement' that I had written the year before, forcing me to think through who I am as a woman, believer, wife, mother, friend - and who I want to be - and how exactly I plan to get from A to B!

It was good. So good to step out of the day-to-day busyness - particularly the relentless busyness that comes from life with small children - and look at life with a bit of uninterrupted distance and perspective. What is it they say about an unexamined life? My life needs a little examining or it all too easily gets caught up in just getting by, saying yes, being busy, wearing out. To rethink whether the places where my time goes are truly where my priorities lie. To make sure the way I am living life is authentic to my faith and our values and goals. And to offer every aspect of this up to God for His blessing and His guidance. It was good.

Well, after this intense time of refocusing and reflection it was time for some relaxing!!!

Which pretty much involved watching a chick-flick on my laptop (in bed) whilst ordering room service for dinner and eating it (in bed), just kicking back, reading for aaaaages then eventually falling asleep... gleefully, just knowing the next morning I could sleep late, wake up slowly and (gasp) not need to immediately tend to anyone else!

Dessert. In bed. Watching movies. Woohoo!!!

What a day... what a blessed and rejuvenating day! I felt utterly grateful and utterly refreshed. One night of solitude a year... a small thing but quite a significant one really, especially in these hectic years of mothering little ones. I crave that dose of solitude and appreciate the opportunity to walk back into my chaotic, precious life with renewed vigour and intention.

Me. Reading. Happy.

Now.... who's ready to book their hotel room? Seriously... with a little planning, you can make it happen :) I promise you it is so, so worth it xx