Thumbsucking? No... Icecream? Yes!

My baby girl started sucking her thumb when just a few weeks old. I had no complaints - it was a comfort to her, it soothed her and hey, it was readily available at any time! Plus, yeah, it looked pretty cute...her thumb was just a teeny tiny little peanut! Adorable!! The habit quickly became just part of who she was. She continued to suck her thumbs (yes, either would do) avidly from then on - when sleeping, when tired, when upset, when bored. Good for all occassions, you might say!

Eventually we both worked up the resolve to try and move past this habit as it certainly looked like something she wasn't going to naturally drop (at 3.5yrs old) and it was starting to affect her teeth. Plus she was now old enough to understand and to want to try and be a big girl. Our start to this journey are chronicled here and here if you are interested in more info!

So for the past five weeks, she has not sucked her thumb at all. Apart from once or twice putting it in her mouth then quickly withdrawing, she hasn't even attempted it - to be honest I've been amazed and slightly shocked that this has all really worked! Thanks to a variety of techniques (documented in the previous posts), including our now beloved Elastoplast bandaids, plus of course her determination, we seem to be on the other side, where we can almost safely say she no longer sucks her thumb - wow!!

After her three day milestone, we decided to set the goal of one month and a reward of going out together for ice-cream (her idea) at the end of it. Well, actually it's been five weeks but we were away in Melbourne and I wanted to set aside a night where we could fully concentrate on her wonderful success. The count down was on and tonight was the night...

Of course first we had to cross off the final day on the chart...

As an extra treat, I allowed my clothes-obsessed little lady to choose her outfit for the evening - whatever she wanted. Of course she chose this huge Size 6 hand-me-down dress that's been hiding in the closet. With her 'party shoes' (of course), and 'stockings' and a turtleneck (well, that was my addition as the evening was brisk!). Looking a little like an Amish school girl, but what do I know?! Going out after dinner made the outing extra decadent too. Little Miss was verrrrry excited!

As we walked out the door Lily took my hand and said 'I'm going to share my ice cream with you, Mummy'. *melt*

As we drove, we were discussing our favourite colours (big topic) and Lily was listing them all 'I love pink and purple and blue and green and silver and gold and black and you know what else I love? You. I love you, Mummy'

*double melt*

So, we cruised down to the local Goodberry's Frozen Custard (which is like, practically icecream, right?) for our treat. Lily got the kiddy special - chocolate custard, pink topping (added extra because ICE CREAM MUST BE PINK, OK!!), sprinkles, mini M&Ms (Ooh, vitamins! Lily exclaimed when she saw them!!??) and a Tiny Teddy to boot. Bonanza!!! Mummy didn't want Lily to eat alone, so forced down a rather delicious Peanut Butter Fudge and Oreo Mix (drool).

We had the cutest little time. Lily could hardly eat she was so enjoying watching everyone. Of course she did dig in with vigour, exclaiming 'I like my one!' and nibbling ever so slowly. We chatted about this and that, and I told how very proud I was of how hard she had tried (ever so hard) to stop sucking her thumb. It was tough, it was heart breaking, it brought her to tears many times. But this little whisp of a thing is made of strong stuff. She kept trying, even when she failed, when it was hard, when she really wanted to stop, she didn't. A lifelong (literally) ingrained habit and her strongest form of comfort - gone. Habit broken. Deep down, to be honest, I didn't even know if she could do it. But she did. She has.

So it was wonderful to tell her how proud I was but more than that, how proud she could be of what she has done. She worked hard and she did it. I loved to see her pleased little face, Little Missie sure knows what a big deal this is, she knows she conquered her very own Mt Everest! I really wanted her to learn from this how persevering in challenges can pay off. She learnt it in spades. 'Thumbsucking is for babies, I'm a big girl now I don't need to do it anymore!' she said confidently.

In summary to this whole thumb-sucking saga... Although I'm definitely no expert, for any other parent going through a similar thing, I can share my top tips I have gained from all this! They would be to involve them in the process and get them to help set the goals/incentives (nail painting and ice-cream were all her ideas). Find their 'currency' - something that is meaningful for them. I don't think the same strategies will work for all kids, so if one doesn't work (after a decent go), try another. Set short and long term goals (three days and one month for us). Keep up the positive reinforcement, the praise, the encouragement. It's a habit, usually unconscious, so it is truly tough to break. Our winning combo in the end was Elastoplasts, rewards and a chart. And a truck load of encouragement and praise!

From here on in the plan is to remove the bandaids - she hasn't had them all the time and does fine without, but I have tried to keep them on most of the time just to ensure unconscious thumbsucking like while sleeping doesn't happen. I figured if we can stop it completely for over a month, now they are off it won't be automatic to plug them in right away!? If it begins to creep back, we can always use the Elastoplasts again. Lily asked lots of questions tonight about what happens now and she agreed just using the bandaids if needed as a reminder was a good plan!



So, I'm feeling a little whistful tonight, I admit. A treasured outing celebrating my baby girl and just a small glimmer of the things she will be able to work through and learn and overcome in her life. A little sad too to say goodbye to her sweet little habit that was always so much a part of her. My baby girl is a baby no more...  the last relic of her babyhood is being left behind (excuse me while I sob)... so I'm a little bit sad but a lot more proud. Proud of how hard she worked. Proud to be the mother of this beautiful tender-hearted little soul. Actually, proud is not the right word - I am grateful - grateful to God that He blessed me with her.

Way to go, darling girl!

How we stopped 'Thumbsucking' in Four (sort-of) Simple Steps

Ok, so today was a BIG milestone in the world of my 3.5 year old daughter! I wrote recently about our process of helping Lily stop sucking her thumb.... we were using the yucky tasting nail biting stuff, and it was working pretty well but she was still putting her thumb in her mouth on occasion and I noticed just recently she was starting to just suck off the nasty taste and well... keep going! Ergghhh?!? I knew we had to take it another level.... so I introduced four new steps...

But firstly I gotta add - wow, there is a lot of awesome help and support in blogland!! Thanks to everyone who chimed in with ideas, I think a 'multi-pronged approach' was required to really move past this deeply entrenched habit. I mean, it's something she has done as a source of comfort since she was just a few weeks old - incredible to think of the self-control it takes for a little person to move past this habit.

And so, here are the four steps that worked for *us*.... I hope they might help you too if you are hunting for that ever elusive cure....I will say thought that ultimately it helps a LOT if you can talk things through with your child, so they understand why they need to stop. If they are on board with this, needless to say it will all be a lot easier! Because, really, it's in their control, not yours!!! Challenging as that is ;)


Four Steps Along the Road to 'Stopping Thumbsucking'....

1. We talked together about a special reward for her very diligent efforts and I offered that if she could not suck her thumb at all for three full days, I would paint her finger and toe nails in any colour she chose. She was excited. To say the least!!!! Thanks to this clever lady for the reward tip (I knew nail and toe nail painting would be far more exciting to Lily than any big toy, she has dreamt of getting this done for aaaages but I had held off)
2. Because three days is an awful long time in the life of a three year old, I also offered a small 'sometimes food' treat at the end of each night (a little chocolate) to keep the momentum up! This rarely happens so she was very excited about this too.
3. Thanks to a tip from another wonderful lady (oh, and incredible photographer too!), I bought a bunch of thick Elastoplasts. Funnily enough, I had bought bandaids when we started all this, but they slipped off way too easily and especially once they got wet in the frequent hand washing that is the life of a toddler, they would fall right off so I gave them up pretty quickly - didn't even think of Elastoplasts! But oh baby, those things are not going anywhere, they stick soooo well and are very flexible too so are no bother to her various busy activities. Jackpot!
4. I made a simple (dodgy) chart with 1,2,3 listed on it which she could cross off every night.

WELL!!

Success to say the least... she has sucked her thumb NOT ONCE in three days. I have not even see her put her thumb to her mouth. And did so happily, with great joy, excitement and pride. I was so proud (and quietly shocked!!!)... so today was the great big day... (the 4th day, after three full days)

Crossing off the third day...

Um, do you think she was excited to cross off the last day?

She chose her fave colours - pink + purple!

Delicious little toes

Sweet chubby little fingers with light pink - note Elastoplasts!

Happy girl - even with her snuffly little face!

It was so easy to delight in my girl today. I know it doesn't seem like much but it's a big step in her very little world. She kept exclaiming 'I'm so proud of myself!' - Heehee! I know it's not over yet, but three days without ANY thumb sucking is certainly the longest she has gone since she was...er... born! (Well, about 5 or 6 week old I think she started). So now she knows and I know she can do it. It certainly seems a significant step. I admit when I was reading her a book tonight at bed time, I realised how strange it was that she wasn't contentedly sucking  her thumb (or trying to) as she usually would.... yes, a little piece of her babyhood is being left behind...(sob)

But that's ok! It's all part of growing up and I'm thankful we were able to tackle this little challenge together. I am actually a little bit shocked that this has all worked so well! (Don't tell her that). From here on in we will keep with the Elastoplasts and maybe small treats along the way. Perhaps trial with them off in a week or two and see how she goes, putting them back on if she still struggles till the habit is truly broken - I guess we will just feel our way through it as we have so far! It's all trial and error, isn't it? I don't think there is necessarily one perfect fix for every child (sorry if you are reading this hoping for that!) but rather finding the 'currency' that is meaningful for your child. I am just thankful that we seem to have worked out a winning combo at last!! She was ready, so was I, and here we are.

Well done, little girl! Mummy is so proud of you... you have risen above habit and instinct to achieve your goal with determination and strength...and joy! It was not easy and oh, you shed tears, but you persevered, and you prayed and you did it! Hold on to this, sweet child, it is a blessed skill that will help you in so many other areas of life. You can rise above!

For reference, here is the post where we started on the 'stop thumbsucking' project, and here is our big celebration five weeks after this post was written, when we declared her officially broken of the habit, yippee, it really worked!!! :)