Letting Go...

The kids made star-shaped Roti with Chris and Sharon who came to help out with them.
They loved it and them!!

So much of this time of hyperemesis (severe pregnancy sickness) has been about learning to let go.

Letting go of what the children eat....
Letting go of what and how much the children watch TV....
Letting go of much of how the children behave....
Letting go of what the children wear, where they go, what they do there...
Letting go of the state of the house.... (and mostly letting go of worrying about all manner of people see it in such a state!)
Letting go of so many responsibilities, activities, relationships....

And so on!

Many of those elements a Mama thinks she oversees, is responsible for, controls.... but I simply have not had the energy, capacity or even awareness most of the time to do anything about them. For a bit of a self-confessed control-freak, it has been a mighty lesson to learn.


Learning that some elements are not as important as I thought they were.
Learning that I never really 'controlled' as much as I thought I did!
Learning how much more capable and resilient my kids were than I gave them credit for.
Learning that this is a season, that I can only do what I can do and that many of the things that have 'back-slid' can be picked up and reworked on again when I am capable to do so... (like some relationshops, activities and some of the children's emerging or re-emerging behaviours).

But mostly I have learnt that letting go means letting God. And this can only be a good thing!

Learning to let God fill the gaps with grace.

Letting God be strong when I am weak (which is really how it always is, but oh, how strong I like to think I am at times!)

Learning to let others help and bless our family during a time of need.

'Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.'

2 Corinthians 12.9 New Living Translation

God is good and through this season I have found a new sense of peace and comfort. It is in safely in His hands...


I am also grateful for foundations that were laid before that have helped us endure this season. A loving community of friends, family, and church. Years invested in my children and their characters and their manners and behaviour that has I think helped them during this phase. Including them being happy, willing and reportedly-very-well-behaved and easy to deal with for the host of people who have cared for them in our home or their own. My heart is so happy and relieved when I hear the report at the end of the day that the kids were a breeze/no trouble/a pleasure. Phew! The kids just happily roll with whatever is happening, each day enquiring  'Who's coming over to play with us today!?'. Such social little animals, I am in awe of how flexible, cruisey and resiliant they are!

Anyway, as I am hopefully to some degree starting to emerge from the intense fog of sickness, my hope is that I can slowly regain my entry into life again, but perhaps this time holding a little less tightly to these things because ultimately, I really don't control them all anyway! I do my best, I give my all, I commit my days to God and trust Him to unfold the outcomes.

Letting go, letting God...

Sweet friends like these...

A sweet little friend popped over to exchange 4th birthday gifts with our little Lily. Within minutes, these two were suitably attired in pink dresses, and after a quick bite of afternoon tea, spent the rest of their time creating a madly, wonderfully mixed-up little world in a magical kingdom called Kansas!

They got up to all kinds of princess-y adventures in their fantasy world... four-year-old friendships are just the cutest!

PS. I cannot BUH-LIEVE I forgot to mention on here that I was greatly honoured to do a guest post on the stunning blog of the woman who started this whole Documenting Delight project!! I would love if you checked it out at Gregarious Peach and be sure to take some time to stroll on through her other magical images... she is so talented!

Glimmer of Hope...

Mummy, look at me hopping!

Well, I have been hesistant to believe/say/write it but... I am starting to have glimmers of feeling a bit better!!

Can I get an 'oooooooh-yeah'?!

After three tough pregnancies of being very sick for 20 weeks each time and trying every remedy/treatment/cure that is out there, nothing has worked until now. I must give a huge shout ouf to my amazingly clever (and caring) friend Kate Swincer of www.naturalhealthworks.com.au in Sydney. It is through her combo of Chiropractic Care/Applied Kinesiology (and now through Fiona Glenn at Forrest Chiropractics here in Canberra due to Kate ever-so-selfishly living back in Sydney) along with Zinc and B6 drops I am seeing some real improvement especially in the day after treatment. Like - yesterday (post treatment) a whole day of NO vomiting!! Imagine that!

No, I am nowhere near 100%, but have improved markedly from the 5-10% I was barely surviving at to maybe 40-50% (still up and down but feeling half-alive again, can even talk and sit up a bit!). I am sooo thankful this seems to be having real results and so grateful for windows of relief from this sickness. Please pray it continues to improve from here!

Just wanna also give a huge shout of thanks to my rockin' readers and friends who have sympathised, cheered me on and supported me through this phase of sickness. You have warmed my heart through countless dark moments. No, I'm not all better yet but even to have windows of relief is humongous for me. God is good. Friends are also good. This baby growing inside me... undoubtedly good, undoubtedly worth it.

So, thanks, friends!

Olympics Replay!

Four years ago, I was blissfully snuggling my beloved newborn first child, and likely complaining about the lack of anything good to watch on TV while I was breastfeeding her - due to the Olympics being on! Now here we are four years later... my tiny baby is a delightful four year old and the Olympics are on once again, bringing back so many memories of those charming baby days!

So it was kinda cool to see her snuggle up with her Daddy as we attempted to watch some of the (recorded) Olympic Opening Ceremony in London. 'What's this?' she enquired so Mark attempted to explain the whole Olympics biz-ness. After watching five minutes of English folk carrying hay bales and what not around pastoral England, she asked again 'When's the show starting?'. Er..... this is it! So with that she was off to create some ballerinas out of cardboard and cellophane at her craft table. Truth be told, her parents didn't last all that much longer!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-Olympics by any means (I can Aussie, Aussie, Aussie with the best of 'em). But as pretty much the most non-sporty person around, I just don't get that into them - I will catch five minutes here and there and feel mildly-to-rather thrilled when I hear we've won gold, but you sure won't catch me up at 5am to watch the tennis/diving/whatever is happening then! But I guess the occurances of 2008 gives the Olympics an extra special place in my heart now...



And just to get in the spirit of things.... Go Australia!!

Daddy's Glasses

'I wear these so I don't bump into things!!'

Trio

My dear friend Chevelle kindly came over for a morning to look after the kids... the bonus was she brought her adorable girl Arddun along too - my two were very pleased as they just love her like a little cousin! Lily kept proclaiming how happy she was that Arddun is now walking like a big girl. Arddun kept herself busy just happily wandering after the big kids and watching everything they did. Oh, the adventures these darlings will get up to over the years! 

Watching and waiting for Chevelle to come back from the car. Eli is holding his
wand/spatula!

Snuggly Winter Jammies...

Two little snuggle bugs rockin' their new flannelette pyjamas from our dear friends on the West Coast... the kids love 'em!

(and matching for once too!! Let's see if Daddy can keep this up, heehee!)

Fairytale Adventures

'Quick, Wizard Finn, we have to rescue all the fairies from the witch!!'

Birthday Girl - You are so loved!

Today was my sweet girl's 4th birthday - we had the official celebration on Saturday night, so today was a quiet little day. Full of kisses, cuddles, and proclamations about how very, very good it is to be four. She was so happy. We were able to dole out a few presents throughout the day, which kept the excitement high and even had a couple of lovely friends come by just to deliver a gift to the birthday girl - how kind is that?! Though this did lead her to enquire at the end of the evening 'Who else is coming over to give me a present?' (!!!!)

I loooove birthdays. I love celebrating them with my nearest and dearest and most especially these days, my sweet children. To me birthdays are a wonderful excuse to really celebrate, cherish and love on that child, and I already have a whole list of little traditions we do or plan to incorporate each year to make birthday's special. It's not about heaps of pressies but about finding ways to shower that sweet child in love and joy for a day. It is such an honour to do this and I'm excited about creating a childhood of special birthday memories for our kiddos!

Because that is our focus for birthdays, I am relieved to say that though I certainly can find plenty of things to feel guilty about during this period of sickness, I don't feel that guilty about the kids not having extravagant birthday celebrations or parties. Actually, not a scrap. In fact if I had been well, I don't think we would have done them this year anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love parties and the kids will get them some years just as they have in the past (though I'm yet to develop some kind of policy as many parents eventually need to about alternating years etc!) - but I know I don't plan to have them every year. I hope we can make birthdays still special and fun without lavish parties being a yearly or expected thing!

Sweet Chevelle secured her spot in Lily's heart with a gorgeous box of NEW dress-ups
including this incredible pink confection (with full accessories of course!).
Lily says she is 'Glinda the Good Witch' from Wizard of Oz here.

I was so happy to see my girl fully satisfied, her heart filled, her joy overflowing and her present-capacity most definitely reached for her special day. It was a quiet and simple day but with lots of love and fun with her family, and a few of our little traditions, the day was all it needed to be.

That night, her special birthday dinner request was home made pizza (again! Yes, it's her fave), and she wanted to watch a movie whilst eating dinner - she was so excited to do this! Which is how we all ended up curled up in the lounge watching The Little Mermaid with one very happy four year old. She loved it. I loved watching her love it. Birthday cake leftovers were the literal icing on the cake (actually, that's all she ate of the cake that night, lol)!

I haven't even taken the time to freak out about having a four year old yet!!! Perhaps I'm just having a delayed reaction..... wow.... four! My babeeeeeeeeee!!

Sweet dreams, my little four year old baby girl.... how loved you are!

Fairy Friends and Duplo Afternoon

It was only a matter of time before our resident fairy started coercing the rest of the family to dress accordingly ....
(What an accomodating Daddy!)

Father/Son building moment



It was Lily's idea to add a viewing platform for all the people!

Crash! Squeal! Fun!!

Celebrating Lily - Fabulous Miss Four!

We had a quiet little birthday dinner for our sweet Lily on Saturday night (a couple days before the actual day) with her requested meal of home made pizzas and of course cake. She had been considering her options and changing her mind for months before finally settling on 'A ballerina cake with pink, silver and gold'. Even in my current state, I was determined to create something special for her!

Mark faithfully collected my very specific list of ingredients. I knew there was no way I would have the energy to actually make a cake and let's be honest, the kid's don't really care about that bit!!! So I focused on 'assembling' rather than 'baking' the cake of my little girl's dreams. Most people have seen a version of the yummy looking KitKat/M&M cake floating around online (especially Pinterest) and as it looked so fun and easy to assemble, I decided to create a White KitKat Ballerina version! It was soooo easy and fun. I totally took the cheat's route but I was happy with the final product!

For anyone keen to make a version of this super high impact/low effort/very fun cake here is what I did/used -

• Bought Woolworth's unfilled double sponge cake (high enough for the KitKats) - filled with fresh whipped cream and jam
• Covered the cake with Betty Crocker White Frosting (yes, I felt crazy decadent buying icing... I mean, really!! But I had to keep it simple). I put pink food colouring in there to turn it pink!
• Assembled White KitKats (using almost 3 family sized blocks) around the edges and tied on the ribbon
• Popped on the ballerina (not quite the delicate pink music-box style I wanted but it did the job!)
• Covered the top in a mountain of mini white and pink marshmallows
• Scattered with tiny silver chocolate balls
• Done. Too easy!

Yes, it took me all day to work up the energy to do it and I was paying for it right after but I got the cake made and I was so excited.

Suffice to say her reaction was worth it....

Her priceless reaction to the cake....

She was soooooo stunned when the cake went out. I swear I saw a tear in her eye... or possibly it was just the tears blurring mine?! Anyway, the girl was happy. Couldn't stop smiling, looking and tentatively touching. It was so gorgeous. After squealing for quite a few minutes she beamingly said 'Thank you Mummy, it was the exact right cake I wanted!!'. Yes, she was very specific this year so I'm glad it met the brief. ;)

We kept the cake on the table during dinner so she could soak it all up while everyone munched on our freshly made pizza. We decided to give a couple presents that night and save the rest for her actual birthday. The main one was a Siamese Fighting Fish. She has been begging for months for a pet (dog, cat, fish, guinea pig, horse, etc) so we decided to start her off nice and easy. I had one myself in my Uni days (anyone remember my little buddy Tolstoy?!) so I know how super low maintainence they are!

Well, she was once again shocked and thrilled! Within a minute she had christened her fish 'Greg' - NO idea where she pulled that one from!!! Funny girl. She and Eli had fun watching him swim around, and she got to feed him and was very excited he gets to live in her room. Just hoping he does not go belly up at least for the first few days!! Hope she enjoys her new little buddy and also gets to learn about taking care of him too.

One much-loved and joy-filled little girl

 

He wanted to get his mitts on that fish SO bad....

We finished off our sweet little birthday celebration with a glowing cake - matched only by the glow on a little girl's face... it was a beautiful night!

Rockin' out at the Playschool Concert

Months ago I booked tickets for our family to go to the touring Playschool Concert as a birthday gift to the kids... yes, the hippest concert in town for the Under-5 set! As the time got closer and my sickness did not abate, I wasn't sure what to do... how I could possibly handle taking the kids and yet... the thought of them missing out just made me cry! I and they have missed out on plenty of things since I've been sick, but I just hated the idea of them not getting to go to such a fun morning out and so I was pretty determined that somehow, someway, we were going to do it.

Thankfully we had booked a ticket for Mark too (he also wanted to witness the kid's brains exploding with glee to see their favourite show IN REAL LIFE) and he was able at the last minute to take a half day off work so we could all go together... a big phew because I haven't driven in weeks and wasn't sure how I would go on my own. So I rested and dosed up on everything I could and somehow we made our way there, into a throng of babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers like I'd never seen before - it was a glorious chaos! Thankfully we could sit on the floor for the concert so I shuffled my way in with my excited kiddos, found a spot on the crowded floor, and the fun began.

It was tough making it through and I sure paid for it when I got home but worth it? You betcha. The kids had an absolute blast, shrieking with joy and boogeying and singing along. Just delightful to sit there and soak up their happiness. We hit with jackpot with the presenters - Abi and Jay! They were wonderfully engaging and super fun the whole time. I knew Lily would be soooo into it (and she was) but was most surprised at Eli - I wasn't sure how much he would 'get it' but he was totally excited, shrieking at every new toy that came on stage (Jemima!! Big Ted!! Humpty!!!), clapping, dancing and laughing. He kept looking at us in shock and awe like 'Mummy, the TV has come to life?!!'.

Lily and her buddy Edmund! His charming pirate look is thanks to him falling into the corner
of a wooden cabinet and knocking out his tooth, poor chap!

We love Abi and Jay!!

One very happy concert-goer!

Precious Eli, hands clasped tightly, was in awe of the performance!

Getting her groove on - so cute seeing all the kiddies dance and sing to every song!

Dingle Dangle Scarecrow with Big Ted!

He was just in a state of amazement...

Super Daddy does double duty on the way to the car!

It's pretty much the biggest kick in parenting - watching your children experience something new and wonderful, feeling their joy being multiplied in your heart because you just love them so gosh-darn much and to see them living and loving life is just such a privilege.

I'm just grateful that I got to be there to witness it.

Fairy Friends

It was only a matter of time till this happened, isn't it?

With Lily almost constantly robed in some kind of costume, of course Eli would want to get in on the action and so is now often found outfitted (thanks to his sister's efforts) in a similar fashion to Lily. Seriously, too cute for words!!

Appropriately attired, most of their free time these days is spent galloping around the house together engaged in all kinds of imaginitive adventures - fairies on the run, babies on the crawl, animals on te loose, mother and child, going on bear hunts (with backpacks), and so on.

Eli gets into it with as much gusto as Lily and it charms the soul no end to hear them up to their giggly hijinks. It's the kind of sibling fun I always dreamt of witnessing and most people who get to watch the show comment that it's a good advertisement for having  more than one kid, seeing how they occupy each other!

Brother and sister, siblings and friends. Companions for life and oh, it melts a Mama's heart!

Checking if Daddy is home yet

They make me laugh like nothing else... from the belly and the heart at the same time!

Eli's adoring gaze at his sister - always watching and learning!

Eli decides to get into this bowing business too - love that they each have their own style!!

Everybody needs good neighbours...

Yes, it's true that everybody needs good neighbours (good old Aussie TV serial speaks the truth, people!) and I am very blessed to have some!

Here is Eli visiting his sweet little neighbour Sarah for the morning. He was reportedly doting on her and playing peekaboo through the sides of the play-yard. Lovely little Sarah was giggling her little head off. I think Eli is going to make a great big brother, he is so caring with the little ones!

These images just make me smile - two little buddies who are going to be great playmates for years to come - I love having other young families in our street!




Peek.....



...aboo!!!!!!

One Long Super-Fun Day

My lovely Amber of We Stood Together very bravely offered to take both kids for a full day so I could get some rest. Yes, she had them from 8am till dinner-time (when Mark could drop off and pick up). She is Wonder Woman!! Our four kids adore each other and with Amber being a super organised former-Kindy teacher, she had all manner of fun things planned for the day to keep them all busy and occupied. I was so grateful for a day of rest and even more so to know the kids were having such a fantastic time in such loving care... seriously, it's so fun at Amber's house I am considering asking if we can all just move in indefinitely?! No... seriously!!

Pegboard-concentration

Eli keeping busy too - bliss!

Eli even took a lovely nap.... awwww, my little snuggle bear!

I love Lily and Harper at play - always very imaginitive and organised. I can tell something very intentional is going on with these animals!

They baked cookies and then Amber let the kids ice them - how fun! I am in shock Eli is actually doing it and not just licking out the bowl??!

A divinely good time...

Thank you dear friend for a day of rest and for so lovingly caring for my kiddos! I just love that they get to enjoy such creative and relaxed fun in your wonderfully welcoming home! Just wish I could have been there too to hang out and play (and chat!) xx

Mother-in-Law to the Rescue!

One last bed time story... one of hundreds!

Today we had to say goodbye to my amazing mother-in-law! *sad face* Margaret flew all the way over here from Perth for a full three weeks to care for our family. She has looked after the kids each day, made meals, kept up with the laundy and just generally kept our heads above water for the duration! Not only this, but it was beautiful to overhear the fun every day, Marg doing craft, painting and games with the kids, walks to the park and even adventures to the library, park and shops! Such a blessing to these kids who normally only get to see the Perth grandparents once a year at best! I know their relationship was strengthened as they all got to know each other a little better.

Not only was this three weeks a nice relief for the rest of my amazing support team, it was so good for Mark to have his beloved Mum here too - to work with in keeping the house running and for company too as I'm pretty much the most boring person around these days! Loved hearing them chatting away for hours of an evening... so cute :)


Marg, I will never be able to express how grateful I am to you for coming over during this time and giving of your time and energy so generously. We are so indebted to you and love you so much - this is why you are my mother not just in-law, but in-love! Thank you so much... xx

Princesses can cook!

What else do you wear to roll out the pizza dough?!

a thousand thankyous



Awesomely weird and beautiful cabbage flowers from Lynda!

It's a funny thing, to be on the recieving end of so much love in the form of practical help at a time when you can't even afford to be too proud to accept it. When I say 'funny', I mean -

beautiful, amazing, humbling

I had thought to leave this post until I was 'better' but I just can't because I am already so very grateful. I am just in shock and awe at how my beautiful friends have rallied around me at this time. With a likely couple more months of this sickness to go, I just couldn't leave it any longer to say a public thank you to my amazingly supportive friends, family and church. Without being asked, friends have dropped over meals, insisted on taking out or coming around to look after the kids, and other beautiful and practical and much-needed-and-appreciated things that truly have been the only way I am surviving this season of sickness. Mark too, with a new job, uni (exams), caring for the kids and running the house solo, is just immensely thankful for how our loved ones have rallied around us. I mean, thankful doesn't even begin to cover it....

These are the kind of friends who don't just offer but insist. Who don't simply say 'Let me know if you need anything'  but turn up on your doorstep or confront you with a list of their planned ways to help and don't let you refuse. Friends with busy lives, small children, consuming jobs and their own lives, and difficulties, yet who still take a portion of time and energy to show love in a real and practical way to us at this time.

I mean, what can I even say in response?? Thank you!

It has not been easy for me, I admit. It has been humbling and uncomfortable even in my thankfulness - I realised I am much more comfortable being the helper than the helpee! It is a much easier role. Yet friends have also strongly encouraged me to sit back and be helped, that it is good for the soul to know how to recieve as well as give and good for the heart to learn to accept with grace and not pride. Good to learn to lean as well as stand. And by good I now know that means hard but good!

It has been a surprising experience.  For example, I was so moved to be contacted by an old aquaintance through Facebook who I haven't even seen in person for two or three years. She saw I was sick, she had been sick herself in pregnancy, and so just out of the blue contacted me and said she was dropping off a meal (and a cake) and just did so. Wow. How gorgeous is that?! I was so touched, I was just about speechless!

I want to give a shout out to these dear friends - I have endeavoured to keep a faithful list of those who have brought by meals or looked after the kids since I got sick (and various other kindnesses!). If in my fog I have forgotten anyone, please shoot me now - or at least forgive me for my addled brain. But you know I appreciate each and every one of you for caring for my family while I could not. A mama does not forget such things!!

amber, kat, kate b, kate s, janet, lynda, rosie, scott,

karen, kathryn, kristin, mum, nicole, dannielle, 

wayne, margaret, janette, sarah, josie,

misha, liz, laura, rachel, sally, chevelle

And so many other lovelies who have offered and planned upcoming help, and so many other kind hearts who have prayed, called, emailed and texted to check in on me and give their sympathy and love. I also know in different seaons of life we cannot always offer the help we would like to - I have been there too and truly understand. Everyone does their bit when they can, right? This is what makes us a community - one which I have never felt quite so wrapped in as I do right now. I have truly felt so supported and lifted up during this time.

I simply must also thank the sweet Lord for the internet for keeping me connected to my community even though I have been housebound for a good couple months now. Even though I feel like such a recluse, I don't feel alone thanks to this trusty little laptop! I'm not really up to talking on the phone these days so the net has been a bit of a lifeline!

So... again - thank you. I cannot wait to pay all this love and support forward when I am once again well. I will never cease to be amazed at people's generosity of spirit, creativity in giving and compassion in helping someone in need. This is all no surprise to me, I have witnessed such kindnesses many times in my life - God's love in action - and yet I never expected to be a recipient to such a degree. All I know is that in the midst of the misery of sickness, I am blessed to experience such joy from the kindness of others....

So... yeah, in case it wasn't clear.... thank you!

xx

Dining out... as one does... when three!

Quick, Mummy, I have to goooooo.......!

Our extended family was partaking in a Christmas in July feast at a restaurant in town...perfect in our wintery city. We were all booked to go, but had to pull out due to my pregnancy sickness.... such a shame as the only thing I like more than a hearty hot Christmas dinner is hanging out with all the family! However, my parents offered to take Lily, our little social butterfly, along with them.

Needless to say, she was thrilled at the suggestion, dolling up in her finery including handbag of course (which contained all manner of bizarre treasures that she somehow collates). Giddy with excitement at the idea of a grown-up outing at a restaurant, she could not stop hopping around and hanging at the door awaiting her ride. Off she merrily trotted with my parents..... I mean, is this kid three or 23?!

The sweetest and funniest thing was seeing her Daddy get all sentimental to see his precious daughter head out, so grown up and independent (I mean, she can't clip up seat belt yet, but you know what I mean). He kept mentioning her, fretting all night - Do you think she is ok? Do you think people are looking after her? I hope no one is teasing her! (??!!!). Of course she was being well looked after by my parents not to mention doted on by the rest of the family and without doubt the centre of attention and having the time of her life.

And yet, her Daddy fretted. So cute.

Needless to say, by all reports, our little lady had a blast, chatting with all the family, boogeying on the dance floor to the live band (and standing there crest-fallen whenever the band took a break, for which the bandleader apologised personally, haha!). Yes, she partied with the best of them and did not get home till 11pm. Truly. Didn't realise I would so soon need to set a curfew!!

Is this my tiny baby girl? Almost four and almost out the door?? No sirree. A fun little peak into life but she is ours for a good while longer!! But oh, the adventures she has...

Bathtime Diligence

Keeping her toys nice and orderly... for a change, haha!

Daddy. Sick.

Well, Daddy came down with the flu. Man-flu, no less (and we all know that's worse!)

So there we were, laid up in bed - me vomiting and nauseous, Mark, shivering and feverish. What a pair!!

Thankfully my wonderful mother-in-law was still with us to keep the kids clothed and fed or who knows what would have happened to them!

Eli strolled in to assess the situation.

'Mummy sick. Daddy sick. Sleepy-time.' was his summation!

So he gave Daddy a kiss good-night. And yes, Mark tried to avoid breathing on him. Probably still a little too close but in a snuggly family like ours, let's be honest, there are no avoiding each other's germs!

Poor Daddy!

Baby's First iPod

Eli got his first listen on Daddy's iPod.

Mind - blown!

I can hear some grooving tunes in my ear!

But how does it work!?

Are you sure this thing isn't a phone??

Yo Mum, can I have one of these for my birthday?'
'No way, sunshine!'