Sunday, 10 September 2017

34.52 brotherly teeth brushing // siblings learning to get along

Big brother giving little brother a demonstration on 'how to brush your teeth like a boss'.

Little brother soaks it all in. 

Much giggling and brushing and bonding (and spitting) ensues. 

Heart melt xx

It's funny. Sometimes you have those parenting challenges emerge, and you dig in, and work hard, but then as change tends to happen slowly, you kinda forget to even notice the results. Oops.

As mentioned previously, Eli and Miles went through a stage where they just seemed to be riling each other up all the time. In retrospect I really think this little laundry project was a turning point in their relationship. We did a lot of other stuff too - talking things out, skilling them up in how to work things out, role play for conflict resolution, etc. (Also, alternately pulling my hair out and praying for patience!). They did a lot of work too, in recognising the kind of brothers they wanted to be (best friends!) and implementing a lot of self control and trying new strategies. Maturing too, I guess. 

But then I kinda forgot to keep track of it, lol, till just over the last few days I suddenly realised, wow these two have been getting along so great!  When things weren't going well, it had been so easy to focus on it. Funny how the absence of a problem makes it even easier to forget to recognise and be grateful for improvement!! I suddenly became conscious of how they were playing well, talking through problems calmly, working things out , doing chores together happily (like putting away the laundry while giving each other a high five and shouting 'team work!' for every item complete, haha!) and just having fun together without it constantly dissolving into problems. 

And the change happened so slowly I didn't even realise!

Isn't it funny. I worked so hard, they worked so hard, a good change happened but we didn't even recognise it when it came. I wonder how often that happens in our lives. It can be so much easier to focus on the problems and overlook the successes. Well, of course as soon as I did recognise it, I was sure to tell the boys how lovely it was to see them treating each other lovingly and as best friends. They are pretty proud of themselves too! I'm also musing about what else I can do to help celebrate and cement their brotherly bond and progress/maturity.

Of course, there still are, and still will be ups and downs but it warms my heart to see their bond blossom and hopefully we are all on a better track. Lessons learnt will help us all the next time issues crop up again (as they inevitably will because family/siblings/life/etc!).

Siblings can be life's greatest challenge when you are little but hopefully become more and more a blessing and support as they grow and face life together. That's my prayer!

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