Her hand in mine...

Terribly blurry and bad photo yet a terribly precious little hand in mine that must be captured

A Magic Hideaway to Share

Visiting grandmothers have a way of filling their suitcases with surprises (ladled out on a daily basis) and one of the biggest was this super-fantastic little tent for the kids. A morning was filled with hiding/playing/imagining within, followed by many sweet and giggly moments since. I've always loved the idea of a little hideaway for kiddies to read and play and dream, so I am just thrilled at this magical little circus tent they can call their own!

A stunning portrait - first baby bump picture!

By the artist herself, Miss Lily - and don't I look fabulous?! **melt**

Two Sick Girls

Lily went off to school chirpily today, but came home quiet, pale-faced and feverish with a sore tummy - not well! Uh-oh! Thankfully she is the world's best patient when she is sick - no tears or complaints, she just sleeps a lot, lies around quietly, reads or watches TV. So after going down to nap without wanting lunch and then an episode of Playschool she cottoned on to the idea that two sick girls should really be hanging out together. Into bed with me she crawled, both of us miserable and yet happy to be together. Her hand clutched mine under the cover, we just lay there on our pillows looking into each other's eyes.

'We just always love each other, don't we, Mummy?' she asked. We sure do, baby girl. Variations of this sweet phrase were repeated all afternoon, she is such a verbally affectionate little girl - 'I love you, Mummy, I just love you!' she repeats as she burrows as close as she can. It did my heart so good to be close to her - I have missed spending time with her so much. Both of us unwell yet happy to be quietly side by side.. making the best of a bad situation. Not much talking, just peaceful, she laid there listlessly as I rested or read. Eventually she fell asleep next to me into the evening, the happiest little sick girl I ever did see.

Love her. Immeasurably.

My beautiful little book buddy

Each afternoon and evening, Eli comes into my room on a mission. He launches himself onto the bed, tossing his book up too, crawls up then burrows down next to me, head back on the pillow just like the grown up boy he is so sure he is.

'Mummy, read book, mease (please)!!!' he requests and so whenever I am able I do.

As a little side story, I was being sick in my bedroom today when in the midst of it I overheard Eli who was at the dining table and must have heard me. 'Mummy sick. Poor Mummy.' he said sympathetically to his Daddy. Kinda broke/warmed/touched my heart all at once...

Darling boy... I do miss him and love him ever so much.

hospital hijinks

On Monday, my wonderful mother-in-law, Marg, flew all the way across the country from Perth to come and stay with us for a couple weeks and help look after our family during this rough patch. She could not get here fast enough (work commitments prevented her from coming earlier) and our entire family is just so immeasurably grateful to have her here with us. A little relief for my amazing support team here in town too, I think! The kids adore her and are thrilled to have a new playmate, I am so relieved they are being taken care of so well and Mark is super relieved to have some back up support, especially in the form of his loving Mum. Yep, we are all very grateful and very happy to have her here!

So in she flew on late Monday afternoon. She took one look at me all curled up in bed with her ex-nurse eyes and (kindly and gently of course) told me I needed to get to the hospital - STAT! (Ok, she didn't really say 'stat' but it fits with the medical tone of the day!). I was not only still so sick/nauseus/vomiting but the lethargy seemed to just be compounding. To the point where I could barely lift my head from the pillows. It felt like magnets were under the bed, pulling my body down into the mattress and I just Could Not Move. I was home all day alone, knowing as my stomach painfully flipped and cramped that I had to eat something but I just could not get out of bed. I'd have arguments in my head - Just go to the Kitchen!! I don't want to! Just go! I can't!!! Frankly, quite ridiculous, if I do say so myself.

So when Marg told me I needed to get some medical attention, Mark peeled me out the bed and off we went to Emergency - hoping for a nice quiet accident-free night there so we weren't waiting for hours! No such luck - the waiting room was absolutely packed and I almost went right home again, I could barely face it. However once we got through the slow moving line and I was assessed, we were actually admitted within about 30 minutes which I was soooo grateful for. They gave me an IV bag full of fluid for my dehydrated little carcass, and some anti-nausea medication in there too which I had previously held off from taking but was too weak to protest it just for that one time. Mark sat there with me ever so patiently as I felt life literally drip back into me again - amazing thing to suddenly feel some glimmer of energy, life and somewhat-ok-ness! Mark said he could tell I was feeling better when I made a face in response to some "funny" comment he made - he said he had missed my faces!! Dear boy!

Glamourous IV shot!

Anyway, exhausted yet feeling so grateful for the new energy and the brief reprieve from the nausea, we crawled back home around midnight. The next day I was back to feeling sick once again but without the intense lethargy - so grateful for the relief! Now I am able to get some sweet rest knowing the household is in the capable loving hands of my dear mother-in-law - so grateful for family in such a time as this!

Bedtime Book

I can't do much for my kids these days, but at least I can (usually) read them their bedtime story. They come visit me in my bed, book in hand. snuggle in for some time together and a good read, a chat and a prayer, if I am feeling up to it.

One day I will do a whole post on this hilarious series of 1980's manners books... but suffice to say, they are Lily's absolute favourite. If you ever want to brush up on the correct ettiquete for school sports day, just ask Lily!

Pizza Making with Daddy

My flour-covered little Chef, earnestly 'decorating' her pizza after rolling out the dough. A weekend tradition with Daddy and her absolute favourite meal.

Snuggle Buggle

Baby Girl comes to visit me before bed for our Snuggle Buggle....

a certain season...

Joy is the view of my bedside table featuring this little artfully arranged floral display from Lily.
She brought them back from a walk and said they would make me feel happy when I'm sick.
They do.

I have been reflecting on how much life has dramatically changed for me lately. Life is usually so busy (for everyone, right?), full of commitments and appointments and catch ups and 'simply must-dos'... usually I have commitments about three or four nights a week and something on pretty much every day... a class with the kids, a playdate, a visit or some important errand, not to mention all the usual child and house and life stuff. And then - I got pregnant (yay!). And then I got sick...(not so yay) and as it turns out, this seems to be my roughest pregnancy yet. I haven't left the house (or even really my bed, or gotten dressed) in over a week.

Funny how life is full of so much busyness and importance and then you get sick and pretty much everything just falls to the wayside. Well, except the kids of course! I was thinking about writing about all this (from my bed!) but was going to say the only essential outing of the week is Lily's dance class cos... well, come hell or highwater, that girl has got to dance! So Eli had a sleepover at Nana's on Wednesday night and I had Lily on my own and thought - surely I can take her to class. I had had a pretty wretched night and morning but I tried to pace myself to get up and get myself dressed (what a novelty! proper clothes!) and of course prepare my little ballerina. It was tough. I was all vomity and dizzy and gasping for breath, as tragic and pathetic a figure as you could imagine. Crying out to God to just help me do this and frankly quite appalled at myself for not even having the energy for this very simple task. I just tried to press on - surely I could do this.

Then the phone rang... by God's providence in the midst of all this staggering around... it was my friend Kristin offering to take Lily to Questacon (awesome science museum) with her kids that morning. I told her thanks so much but I was taking her to dance class. To which her reply was something along the lines of - Are you a crazy woman, you can barely talk on the phone. Let me take her to Questacon and you can make up the class another time. And because you don't argue with Kristin, especially in the form of a rescuing angel, I reluctantly yet gratefully accepted. Lily was happy with the swap, assured that we would go to dance another day and excited to have a fun day with her friends.

Of course when Kristin arrived I bawled my eyes out on her shoulder as that is how I greet most people who come to the door these days (sorry in advance). Why the tears? Let's firstly blame the hormones shall we? Combined with grief over my lack of ability to do anything much less care for my children right now - I couldn't even get Lily to dance class!? I guess I am struggling to accept how limited I am right now. Gratitude for God's provision and for friends who absolutely insist on helping when I cannot help myself. So many swirling emotions... plus the swirling pain and nausea. All this results in tears, by the bucket load these days.

The love and support I have recieved from others is a whole other special post I am looking forward to writing, but the thing I am hearing over and over is to give myself a little grace. That this is just a season, that the children are resiliant, that it is good to let other's help me right now and that I just have to let go. All tough messages for a Mama who I guess kinda prided herself on being capable and fully engaged with her children. Humbling, heartbreaking, beautiful.

And so... these are quiet days. Dark days. Hard days. And yet... there are rays of light streaming through.... God's gentle love and kind compassion... friends and family stepping in, taking over, helping out... children who have been so gentle and understanding and caring of their poor ol' Mum... a devoted and loving husband. And the sweetest ray of sunshine... knowing all this suffering is not without gain, that through these trials a new life is being formed and created within me, a new baby to love and cherish for a whole life long. And in the tragic midst of friends losing much-wanted babies, or struggling to concieve, I don't want to complain or be ungrateful even for an instant for my lot. I know it is worth every moment and for that I am so crazy thankful. Yet I must also be real and say...these days are hard. Hard but worth it, and as I am refined by these trials, I pray my sweet little child within me continues to grow healthy and strong and ever so loved.

At least we can still paint!

Lily informed me that the green thing on the left with pink handles is a green Woolies bag!

Lipgloss

When Grandpa was here he (very bravely) took both the kids grocery shopping - and they all three had a wonderful time. And because grandparents are made for spoiling and because Grandpa loves his magazines (computer, science, invention, etc), he took them to the newsagents and let the kids choose out a little kiddie magazine each. Yes, magazines for preschoolers and toddlers exist, it turns out... which just proves you can make a market out of just about anything. Anyway, Lily's magazine was very pink and glittery - needless to say she was absolutely thrilled especially because the magazine came with a free pink sparkly lipgloss!! Mmmm, yes, her little heart was fit to burst with joy!

Happy girl who may have some work to do on her lipgloss application skills!?

And I simply had to include this one... this is her REALLY happy face!

Hitting the Park with Friends

My lovely friends Rosie and Scott super-duper-kindly offered to take the kids on Sunday afternoon as Mark had to study for his week of exams and I was, as always, laid up in bed.

Then she even took a bunch of sweet photos so I could see what hijinks they got up to... and even cover a day on the blog! When you are a full time Mum who usually spends pretty much every waking moment with your child, it is pretty fun and special to peek into their adventures without you - I admit I love to hear about every moment and it all seems so much cuter and funnier cos they are away from you and all grown up and independent! So, thanks Rosie for these fun photos and thanks most of all dear friend, for looking out for us and our family during this little rough patch... we feel so loved! x

Lily looks thrilled at this incredible swing... Eli is not quite so sure...

Two climbing monkeys out on a winter's day

Super Swing with Sweet Rosie

This park looks amazing and I don't even know where it is!

Farewells

Goodbye hugs and kisses with Grandpa. So sad to see him go!

Iceblocks in the Bath

Winter Walks

Rugged up for a walk with Grandpa

Bed Time Stories with Grandpa

Grandpa is here for a few days. He is the super fun Grandpa who the kids absolutely adore. It has been an immense blessing to have him here, playing with the kids all day while I lie in bed feeling miserable yet able to at least rest. Love just listening to the kids shriek with laughter and beg for another round of Hide and Seek, love listening to Dad corral the kids in his own fun style.

So very, very grateful... thanks Dad!

Secret Tea Party Society

** these photos weren't taken today but am i am posting them today in the spirit of making this blog more managable for me right now**

I spend some of the day at my Mum's house with the kids so I could be with them while also getting some help in caring for them, and some extra rest for me.

Intruding as I was on Lily's regular routine of hanging out at Nana's house, I got to witness a few of their special little traditions. After nap time, Lily started carefully setting up the kids' table, piece by piece, with little vintage china tea settings. I was witnessing the Secret Tea Party Society in action...

Wow, I commented, you get to use all those special things to have a tea party with Nana?

We do this everytime, Lily replied nonchalently.

Indeed.

Such a little lady...

And so, real china plates, little tea cups, tiny tea pots (with real very very weak tea), milk jugs (with real milk), sugar jars (pretend sugar), mini-teaspoons, gingernut biscuits and a few mixed nuts in a dish were carefully placed on the table by the Lady In Charge Of Proceedings (Lily). Everyone took their seats, including a wriggly little brother (special guest) as Lily took the role of Mother, mixing up everyone's tea to their specifications with care and finesse. A paper towel was judiciously used by Mother to mop up any drips and drops from the finicky tea pot, accompanied by a genial 'Ooops, a little spill, that's ok'.

I watched with bemusement from my spot lying on the couch.

It was pretty darn cute.

Most sweet of all - even after watching Eli down four mini-cups of tea - was getting a glimpse into this private world of grandmother and grandchildren. A world where Nana takes the time, every time the grand kids visit, to sit down with them to an elaborate and delicate tea party, practising table manners, acting grown up and partaking of sweet treats and moments together.

These are the memories a childhood is made of. Grandparent memories of special bonds and secret rituals. Precious indeed, and a rich blessing for all involved.

I am besotted with her sweet little hands!

...and then there is reality

My two little conspiritors in toddler hijinks...

Yes, as much of my days are spent in bed right now, my little kiddies can often be found snuggled up with me there too...

As I shared yesterday, we are absolutely thrilled to be expecting our third baby. However the (only) down side is that I am, well, pretty sick. Me and pregnancy... we don't get along too well. I have very rough pregnancies and every one has so far been identical (whether boy or girl!)... five-ish months of relentless, 24/7 nausea and vomiting. Along the way this has been accompanied by such highlights as hospitalisation for dehydration and vomiting blood (from tearing my stomach lining) and this time around has the added bonus of bursting all the blood vessels around my eyes (from the intense vomiting). Oh yes, the tiny red lines really compliment my general green pallor nicely, giving my face a certain festive cheer, I hope?!

All this is easy to type but the days for sure are hard right now. I feel awful being able to barely parent my children. Barely able to do anything in fact. Lily is so compassionate and caring, constantly asking me how I am feeling. The other day I was literally staggering around in the kitchen trying to get lunch for the kids. How are you going Mum? she asked me kindly. Do you want to sit down for a rest and I can get the lunch? Dear reader, I must tell you that I immediately started crying at her beautiful albeit impossible offer.... such a sweet girl. She constantly asks me how I am feeling, with such simple devotion and concern, it is so heart-melting!

We knew it was likely I would be as sick as I have been for my previous pregnancies and tried to prepare and plan as much as possible to cope with this season... but when the reality hit me just how limited I was going to be in caring for my two busy little bees, I admit I felt (if possible) even more wretched that I already do. I know it's only a few months but I feel so sad in being hardly able to engage, play, teach, and care for them. All I can do is pray for God's grace and love to cover them during this period.

Many people have said to me that they were sure I would not want to endure another pregnancy after seeing what I have gone through previously but my thoughts are that these few months are really nothing compared to the life of another sweet child. I gladly and willingly go through this for the sake of this sweet baby... but of course it does get me down, feeling so sick all the time and most of all not being able to adequately care for my kids. It is tough.

Huge props must be given to my amazing husband. Really, while I am lying around being all pathetic and useless (I mean, except for growing a tiny human inside of me), he is the one carrying the load. Whilst having just started a new job and studying for upcoming Uni exams, he is also keeping the house running, coming home early, making dinner, doing laundry, looking after the kids and putting them to bed. Grocery shopping, running errands on lunchbreaks and more. And every time that I throw up (that he is home) - even when it's 3am - he gets me water and tissues, sits next to me and quietly rubs my back whilst I am sick, then empties the bucket while I collapse once again. He is a champion and an amazing man - I'm just so grateful for him caring for the whole family during this time. Sorry the burden has to fall so heavily on him, but grateful all the same.

Of course we read this book every night now!

OK, phew, I didn't want this to come across as a huge pity party or anything! I just wanted to keep it real about the realities of these days and this season. It is hard and it often seems insurmountable to make it through these next few months, but I know that step by step we will. By the grace of God and (I must add) by the loving and generous help already being extended by some incredibly dear friends who insist on delivering meals and helping to look after the kids. We would surely all be collapsed in a heap already without them - with the children no doubt running around naked and eating chocolate for breakfast or something!!

So yes... these days are tough right now. It is easy to tap away on this keyboard as a much needed distraction to my constant feelings of yukkiness, (I sleep a lot but can only sleep so much) and easy to even throw in a few !!!!!! to make me seem as peppy as ever... but the truth is these are hard days. So as for the blog.... I hope I can keep it going - when I can do so little for the kids I would love to do this. Typing a few words out each night while lying in bed is not the problem but getting any kind of creative photo might be. And of course I want to use my little energy towards them in real life rather than virtual, if it's a choice! So... I will do what I can and not beat myself up if I can't keep this up on a daily basis anymore. Perhaps I could even just type out a little anecdote from their day rather than a photo all the time... I mean, hey, it's my blog I can make the rules, right?! :)

No matter what, they find joy...

Sweet baby, when you read this some day.... I want you to know that I would go through all this a thousand times over just to hold you in my arms. You are worth every moment. We love you!

Happy News!

Photo by Amber Kite of We Stood Together

Yes, we are so very thrilled and grateful to share that we are expecting a new little baby to join our clan!

Three kids?! Yes really... Are we mad??! Only time will tell, I guess! We are so happy and thankful for this blessing, as well as a tad nervous about being outnumbered by the munchkins in our home! This is (as far as we are planning!) the final little piece of our family jigsaw puzzle, and so I plan to completely soak up this last pregnancy/birth/babyhood as much as I can.

So forgive me for oversharing like a giddy first time Mama but hey... every baby is just as miraculous and hey, what's a blog for if not for over-sharing, amiright??!

We had an early ultrasound just to confirm the dates (we are due late January 2013). Here is that precious little heartbeat, pumping strong! (The video seems to be showing up really small but the yellow arrow points to the heart beat)

This already-beloved baby is only 7 weeks old (well, really only formed in 5 weeks) and yet... look! The little head, the teeny body, kicking legs - all in total measuring a mere 9.2mm. And contained within, incredibly, a little heart fiercely pumping with life, and love and purpose. I mean...wow... the miracle of life huh! What an incredible creation we are...

Little Jellybean... head to the right, little tootsies kicking up on the left

Now, I have to say, it is almost worth having another kid just for the absolute fun and joy it is to tell their older siblings! I have been sooooo excited to tell Lily in particular. Eli at almost 2 is, well, about as interested as he can comprehend (he shouts BABY! every now and then to show his approval), but Lily is so much older now (she was almost two when Eli was born) so I was just dying to tell her the news about her new baby sibling and see her reaction...

Suffice to say it was pretty priceless! After our bed time story (1975 Little Golden Book classic 'The New Baby' no less!) I just could hardly wait to tell my sweet girl the happy news and you can check out her stunned reaction here.... (please excuse Eli's rather tired pre-bed behaviour!)...

I couldn't stop laughing at her shock, and her non-stop questions since then. She is so excited and constantly talking about how happy she is, and how much she loves the new baby. Frequently asking me what the baby is doing now, how I am feeling, and so on! Bless her... it is going to be such sweet joy to see her experience this journey with me, my little supportive companion.

So... that about wraps it up, I just wanted to share the happy news with the blogosphere! As it is still early days I hope you will join me in praying for a healthy and strong baby and continued pregnancy. God has blessed us so richly to be pregnant again - something I don't ever want to take for granted and something that seems even more poignant the third time around.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Psalm 193.13-14

Baby, before we even know you, we love you. We love you and we cannot wait to welcome you into our family... Keep growing big and strong, tiny one!

Hoppity Hop!

The perfect day for practising your hopping, wasn't it, honey?

Her sweet smile lights up my world

Eli was just hoping to find fish...

permanent playmates

These days, the sibling play between Lily and Eli is reaching new and glorious heights. They spend literally hours playing happily together each day, deep in the world of their imagination. Lily for the most part directing their play and Eli for the most part happy to just roll with whatever is happening. On occassion he will throw out a very terse 'No!!' to which Lily will normally appeasingly reply 'Ok, buddy! That's ok!'

Usually they play a thousand rounds of Hide & Seek (which is how Eli can already count to ten) or 'Mummy and Baby' but today the game of choice was playing 'Doggies'. They took it in turns being doggie or owner. Throwing bones, scratching tummies, taking walks, having sleeps. Lily named her dog/brother Beatrix Potter!?

Lily gives her dog Beatrix Potter a well-deserved pat after
he fetched his 'bone'...

Built in playmates for life... how sweet it is to watch them together, how beautiful it is to know they have each other. Love these two!

backyard morning tea

A warm(ish) and sunny day in the midst of a stormy and windy week means morning tea in the backyard followed by some raucous trampoline time... pronto!

dancing days...

Lily has a little warm up before dance class commences

Eli gives himself a confidence-boosting talk in the mirror before class!

Harper and Eli - What a pair!

Leaping with her joy for dance!

Guest Post by We Stood Together: Eli's Kettle

**Squeal!**

Today I am very excited to share my very first guest post on my blog! By my dearest delightful friend, and AH-mazing photographer, Amber of we stood together fame. Ok, so now you are getting a taste of  true photography talent, I hope you will still put up with my shoddy efforts from here on in??! Nevertheless, please enjoy her precious images of my (shameless bias) adorable little man.... then hop on over to her blog 'cos it is all kinds of awesome!

Hi ya, my name is Amber and I blog over at we stood together. This is my first ever guest post on someone else’s blog. Technically, it’s not an official guest post as I kinda demanded that I write today’s post over here at living, loving, laughing. Not in an aggressive/threatening way, more like a “Hey Kate I think I got some sweet photos of little E this morning, how about I tick one job off your list and do your post for today? “ See, in a helpful way (I think?)

Kate and I have a nifty little deal on Wednesdays. Our firstborns, Finn & Lily happily part us and head off to Playschool, leaving our littlest ones, Harper & Eli behind. Alternating weekly, one of us takes Harper & Eli to a music class then back to our house for a short playdate, while the other one soaks up some quality Mumma time. This morning was my turn to look after the toddlers.

In our playroom Eli stuck closely to the baby dolls and the home corner, cooking up tasty treats for Harper and I and tending lovingly to his babies. Eli was pouring cups of tea for me out of a plastic kettle. I showed him a little switch you can flick on the side that starts up the sound of a kettle boiling then ultimately whistling. His eyes immediately widened when he heard the sound. “Again! Again!” So I showed him again and each time the reaction was the same; eyes widened, then when the loud whistling sounded he made this adorable “oooohhhh” face. This repeated over and over. For quite some time. It was wonderful to watch a toy that is well-loved and familiar to my two become new and exciting to another child.

{now where is that switch?}

{bingo! switch found}

A toddler’s sense of wonder, it’s a delight to watch. Eli, little buddy, you are a delight too. I am so thankful that you and Harper have become buddies.

The Fruit of the Spirit...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

Recently I have been working with the kids on learning about the Fruit of the Spirit of God. I wanted them to not just learn the names but be able to identify what these traits look like in action - in themselves and others. So, I drew up this rather simple little tree with the 'fruit' listed in the leaves. In retrospect I probably should have drawn fruit rather than leaves, but oh well!

I had the idea we could put a sticker on the 'fruit/leaf' when the kids identified that trait through our week but my clever little girl quickly cottoned on to that, loudly saying 'Look, Mummy, I'm giving Eli a toy - that's kind - can I put on a sticker?!'...about three times in thirty minutes.  Ahem... Well, I didn't want the kids 'performing' good things just for stickers, so I changed it around to identifying the fruit of the Spirit in others - so I could notice them in the kids, they in each other, the parents, etc.

It has been a lovely little project, seeing Lily exclaim 'Mummy, Eli's giving me a sweet cuddle, that's gentleness!'



The important task of choosing out a sticker is complete

For posterity I wanted to record some of the ways we have seen the Fruit of the Spirit enacted in our home in the last week or so...

love - family cuddle time!

joy - mummy feeling so happy when Lily came home from school

peace - lily and eli playing quietly together in her room

patience - the kids waiting patiently for dinner to be ready

kindness - eli giving lily the toy he knew she wanted to play with

goodness - lily obeying cheerfully when she was told it was time to tidy up

faithfulness - lily clearing her plate from the table without reminders 

gentleness - eli giving lily gentle cuddles on the couch during TV time

self-control - lily waiting in bed till the 'sun comes up' on her toddler alarm clock

Intense concentration when applying the sticker!

It has been (I hope) a good way for the kids to see their choices and behaviour in a bigger light than merely that action of the moment. Good for me too, as we work as a family to let that 'fruit' shine through our hearts and into our lives. Lily told me tonight she wants to keep the poster up 'forever and ever' which I think means for a good while yet... and so I think we will!

Yup, I put that sticker there!